If you’re a guy, then odds are, at least once in your life, and probably a lot more often than that, you’ve had some trouble with the ladies, right?  Be honest.  It’s a rare man who can just walk into a room and attract any woman he wants.  Because of this, an increasing number of men are gravitating to “pick up sites,” where they can learn tips and tricks from self-styled “Master Pick Up Artists” in an effort to “improve their game.”

Don’t do that.

If you’re thinking about doing that, rethink, and here’s why.

Most of the so-called pick up artists, aren’t.

Sure, they talk a good game, but that’s the point for them.  They like to brag about their conquests.  Their dating exploits.  The number of women they’ve lured into bed.

lure

Is that the kind of man you want to be?  Are you the type of person for whom a woman is nothing more than a sex object?  If so, then the “pick up artists” might be right up your alley.  On the other hand, if you’re genuinely interested in a woman as a human being, then there’s nothing that any pick up artist can’t teach you that you can’t learn by cracking open a Psychology text book and doing some research.

In fact, if you break down exactly what most of the pick up artists are saying, they’re essentially aping some fairly basic human psychology.  Unfortunately, like any hobbyist, they only understand the subject well enough to get what they want and satisfy a short term need.  They honestly don’t care about anything beyond that, and that very short-sightedness is the reason that makes their tips less than optimal if you’re looking to build a long term relationship with one special woman.

coy-guyThe reality is that all the props (wearing goggles on your head, or three foot tall hats, etc.) and all the “canned openers” they teach you to use as pick up lines and conversation starters won’t get your very far.  If you want to be interesting to women, then you’ve got to be an interesting person. There’s no amount of faking or rehearsing that will serve as a viable substitute for that.

That starts with you.  If you don’t think you’re a very interesting person, why should anyone else, male or female?  And if you feel that’s a problem, then only you can fix it.  Be more interesting by living a more interesting life.

Get out of your comfort zone.  Instead of memorizing canned stories to tell, go live a more exciting and memorable life and have real, genuine stories to tell.  Learn to get comfortable with who you are and in your own skin. Stop trying to wear someone else’s canned, well-rehearsed skin.

The bottom line is that if all you are is a collection of memorized pick up lines and stage props. It won’t take very long to see through that.  However, it might look good from a distance.  It might work in the short term, and if the short term is all you’re interested in, that’s fine.  If you’re looking for something lasting though, there are no shortcuts, and it starts with you.