When you are in the throes of infatuation it may seem like all you and your beloved need is each other. This is like all day, all night, all the time. The intensity of those first days, weeks and months of true love is heady and sweet. But eventually real life knocks at your door. Work, school, child care, and other commitments demand attention depending upon your individual circumstances. Romance starts taking a number and getting in line.

This can feel very sad, but life is full of adjustments like this. As you and your partner deepen your relationship over time, the two of you will constantly create new ways to relate to each other. Showing love is still sometimes as simple as a kiss. But the richness of your relationship is revealed in other far more profound ways.

Developing kitchen love

The proof of the strength of your love for one another is often as close as your dining room table. It can also be the breakfast bar in the kitchen. Everyone must eat. The food we cook for our loved ones is a tangible reminder of how much we mean to one another. Some couples enjoy learning about foods and experimenting together. Others quickly identify the chief chef, who takes on this sustaining and loving activity. They hope to put their feet up as the diner does the dishes.

Waking up to the smell of fresh coffee and sizzling bacon prepared by the one you love is a far better alarm than your cell phone. Taking the time to learn the likes and dislikes of your spouse or partner and surprising him or her with a delicious and comforting meal is a warm hug and kiss of a different kind. Making a bag lunch with exactly the condiments and a special savory or sweet treat brings you together with your love even when you are working or playing far apart.

And if your loving constellation features new stars as you welcome children or other new friends or family members the mutual admiration society you begat when you shared that first kiss just grows and grows. No place better than the family dinner to share news, memories, and love with each other. Make yours the family that always has room for another plate at the table, cookies after school, and orange slices at the soccer game. The generosity seen when you cook for those you love and their friends is a lesson you want to share. It is one that you want your family to honor and carry forward.

Holidays and the way you celebrate events like birthdays, graduation, weddings, christenings, and anniversaries often revolve around home cooked food, treats you bring forward, with love, to honor the occasion and those who taught you traditions with love. The memories you build will sustain the love you have for each other. And for those you have brought into the orbit of your relationship.

Kissing don’t last, the proverb says, but cooking do. As you feast at the table created for or by your sweetie, enjoy that cooking. But kiss the cook, too.