When dating online, most of us have experienced our fair share of frustrations that come with sending messages. You compose what you believe to be the perfect messages only to find your inbox empty weeks later. So what kind of messages elicit responses?

Cosmopolitan went ahead and asked real men what kind of messages they REALLY wish women sent them. The men shared their expectations and gave insights on the messages that inspire them and those that don’t.

First off, men want women to message first. Much as a few women make the first move online, most don’t. Apparently, ” It makes me more interested in her if she puts in the effort to get the ball rolling,” said this guy Andrew.

Once you have set the ball rolling, ask follow-up questions. Men view this more as a conversation than an interrogation.

Cosmo also found that men wanted women to spice up their conversation. Apparently, they prefer one to write more than just a “Hi”. They prefer more stimulating conversations with one guy mentioning that he wishes women would engage more in political debate.

Being honest about what one is feeling is also something they prefer as opposed to ghosting (disappearing without a warning). “At least be honest and say you’re not feeling it,” said one. On being honest, they also wish women would be more transparent and straight forward about what they are looking for in a man –“If you are not interested, don’t bother,” said Josh, 23.

And if you want to keep the conversation going, reply. Apparently, if a woman doesn’t reply within 6 hours, a quarter of the men will strike her off.

So there you have it ladies…