There are some things that women do that they have no clue that they are the biggest turnoffs for men. Maybe there you have heard men voicing their opinions about some of these lady-behaviors. Much as it is important to understand and cultivate traits that men find attractive, it’s also important to figure out what repels members of the opposite sex.
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List of turn offs for men
Unfortunately, even after hearing that some of the things you do push men away, you probably haven’t had the motivation to stop doing some of these. What makes you swipe left vs swipe right? Maybe you should also consider that with men.
There are some biggest turnoffs for men that drive men away faster than others. Well, maybe this piece will give you that well-needed push and help you understand why what you are doing could be the biggest turnoff for men. The list of turn offs is very long. Today, let’s discuss the 10 that top that endless list…
1. Playing dumb and being arrogant and demeaning
If you are the kind of woman that thinks that men are threatened and repelled by smart women, then think again. If a man is the right kind of man looking for a healthy relationship, then he will be attracted by confident, smart women. Trust me when I tell you you will never have a good relationship if you are dating a man who is intimidated by your smartness. That kind of man will bring you down, toy with your self-esteem and before you know it, you are his helpless puppet.
Lady, you need to find a man who values your intelligence… A man who likes you for you and who you can be yourself around him.
If you are not stupid, then don’t play stupid. All it will do will push him right into the arms of a girl who us smatter. Speaking of biggest turn ons and offs list, being smart doesn’t mean arrogant and demeaning to the man. The thing is, men aren’t turned off by intelligence. However, a bad attitude and disrespect can turn him right off. All he wants is a challenging woman he can have conversations with. Not a woman who talks down to him.
2. Faking it
One of the other biggest turnoffs for men is being a fake about everything… even pretending that he is funny when he is not. Men admire authenticity in a woman. And if he is secure, it will be OK not to pretend that he isn’t funny.
One of the ways that women are known to fake it is pretending they enjoy a man’s interests when they don’t… Or saying how much you love doing something with him when you don’t. And you know you can’t fake it forever. At some point, it will become exhausting and the fakeness will become visible.
And while speaking of faking, don’t do it with sex either. If you want a great sex life for both of you, then communicate. Show him or tell him politely how he can please you. Plus, you might learn a lot about pleasing each other, being in sync sexually, hence more sexual satisfaction. When a man discovers that you have been faking it sexually, its usually a big blow to his self-esteem.
3. You have nothing else going on for you but him
Now much as it is very ego-boosting for a man to know that he is your number one priority, it is a turn if he realizes that he is your ONLY priority. Men like women who have other things going on in their lives for them. It can be anything – a job, a hobby, meeting up with friends to do whatever makes you happy. Just something else that isn’t him.
One thing that happens when a man is your only priority is that you tend to put too much pressure on him and too little space. Before long, he will feel suffocated and will flee to get some air.
4. Bad language and talking dirty grossly
Now, having a foul language is one of the other biggest turnoffs for men. The thing is, a person with good communication skills should be able to express their emotions, both positive and negative, without using bad language. Constant cursing shows immaturity. And that is why its such a turnoff.
The other one that is close to foul language is talking dirty in bed. Well generally, its really a good thing. Now if the dirty talk turns into words that express self-disapproval, then it stops being a turn on and becomes plain weird. Don’t call your self “daddy’s little girl” or “a dirty little baby”. Talk dirty… Just don’t make it creepy.
5. Feeding off of drama
This comes in various forms. Whether its manipulation, constant arguing or reacting explosively over issues, this is the biggest turnoff for men and women alike. It shows immaturity and inability to control one’s emotions. Causing a scene over even the slightest of problems can be scary to anyone. This is because the man will have to walk on eggshells when around you. After all, he will never be sure how you will react to anything.
Men hate drama. Period.
The thing is, how long a man can put up with a dramatic woman depends on what a man is getting out of the relationship. Drama makes a man weigh whether he loves you enough to tolerate the drama. Remember, every man has his breaking point. That’s why some men leave even after more than 10 years of marriage…
6. You are too masculine
Now being one of the guys can be great – loving the football, telling little dirty jokes… That said, men also love that feminine side of women as well. That bit that needs a man to do stuff for you like fixing the taps and changing your tire. And then there is the dressing up bit.
In a relationship, one person has to bring in the feminine energy and the other more masculine energy. So if you a looking for a strong man, being too masculine and domineering is one of the biggest turnoffs for men. It will squash his masculinity. There will be more passion in a relationship if both the female and male energies complement each other.
The alpha male theory is a thing. And men, consciously or unconsciously want to be the lead male in the relationship. So much as you are working in a male-dominated environment where you have to compete with men, trust me, better leave that competitiveness at the workplace. Being too forceful and too masculine will be denying a part of who you are hence suppressing the feminine energy that attracts women to men such as appreciation, listening, connecting and emotional IQ.
7. Constantly nagging and complaining
One of the other biggest turnoffs for men is nagging. Complaining is also tied to this. See, if you raise an issue and nothing is working, then maybe your communication skills are working against you. So instead of complaining about what is not working, ask for what you want. Focus on how to make things better as opposed to what you don’t want. This helps you not go into the complaint-mode.
The other thing I’d like to point out is this: “ASK”, not demand. Yes, we all have our expectations of others. And men usually want to please women. So when you focus on what you want, then he will most likely try to give you that. Complaining means you don’t appreciate him and trying to please a woman who is not appreciative is no fun at all.
What makes you swipe left vs swipe right? Even on a dating profile, be positive about what you want. One of the online dating mistakes women make is saying they don’t want a man with baggage and complaining about exes. This only makes a man flee before even giving you a chance.
Men will go out of their way to please a woman who graciously asks but doesn’t demand – one who appreciates him, not one who constantly complains. Constant nagging makes a man turn the deaf ear. Change this and give him the chance to change too. Eventually, he will catch on.
8. Thinking of a future together too soon
Ladies, get this from mem for free – Even men do want to get married, settle and have children. The only thing with us is that we want to be sure and fall in love with you first before jumping into marriage. For us, it is never about doing it because of pressures from family or expiry date. We want to be ready for it.
One of the biggest turnoffs for men is women who start talking about and planning a wedding even before a man knows them. If you are are on your first date save the baby and baby wipes talks for later days. Fast-forwarding into the future is such a turnoff. You don’t want to reak of desperation. Give the man a chance to get to know you first.
This doesn’t mean that men don’t envision all those things about having a family. They do. They just don’t talk about them on the first date. Not on the second date. Definitely not on the third date either… Catch where I am going with this?
Sending mixed signals and messages is a turnoff for both men and women. No one wants to date a person who says one thing then acts in a totally opposite manner. You better walk the talk when it comes to your romantic relationship. At the same time, you need to practice what you preach. Don’t get mad at your dude because he stayed late with friends when you also do the same.
10. Assuming all men are the same
I know this one really gets into every man’s nerves. This new man you are dating is nothing like your ex-boyfriends – the ones who slept with your best friends. No matter how much women like generalizing and saying that ‘all men are douchebags’, not all of us are. See, the thing with making such assumptions is that they affect how women react to some situations. So a small argument might turn into something big because she has already predicted what the man will supposedly do next. This will chase a man away so fast, you won’t even know what hit you. Just give a man a clean slate.
In case you missed this article on things not to do on a first date, read on…