Great sex is determined by a lot of things that happen way before we even get to foreplay. There are so many habits and routines in our day-to-day lives that can predict whether or not you will be having great sex. The biggest part of great sex isn’t determined by technique; its all about ATTITUDE (generally, your perspective on sex and life)
Are you great in bed? Below are 7 indicators that can predict whether you and your partner will be having mind-blowing sex:
1. Talking about sex with friends
Are you open to talking about sex with your friends? Much as great sex is mostly the passion you share between you and your partner, sex becomes much better if you discuss it openly with your friends.
Licensed professional counselor and sex therapist, Sarah Watson, tells Bustle: “… talking about sex with your friends can help normalize interests and behaviors and it can also spark your imagination. Friends can encourage you to try new things and expand your horizons.”
When the topic of sex becomes part of the ‘normal’ conversation hence more sex-positive, it eliminates most inhibitors to sexual pleasure.
2. Eye Contact
How much you make eye contact on the first date says a lot about ones confidence in bed. The more you look into each other’s eyes, the better the sex will be. A great lover will totally engaged with you from the onset and eye contact is one sure way to gauge this.
How playful and goofy are you and your partner outside the bedroom? The amount of fun the couple has before they hit the sack is a clear indicator of how much chemistry they share. How can you expect fireworks between the sheets if your entering into bed is cold?
The more honest a couple is with one another, the greater the connection between them. Much as some of these topics we may talk about (how constipated you are) may not sound sexy, this kind of openness translates to great sex.
“If two people struggle with being honest with each other outside of the bedroom, it is VERY LIKELY that they will not be comfortable being honest with each other in the bedroom,” Armstrong tells Bustle. Honesty is key!
5. Being mindful of your partner’s sexual needs.
A great lover is who is curious, fascinated and mindful about what turns their partner on. According to Patricia Johnson and Mark Michaels, co-authors of Designer Relationships: A Guide to Happy Monogamy, Positive Polyamory, and Optimistic Open Relationships, “Great lovers are willing to experiment and try things that may be a turn-on; they’re able to listen to feedback… When all partners approach sex with these attitudes, the results are exponential. Rather that a give and take, lovemaking can become a great adventure of mutually taking each other into higher states of ecstasy.”
6. Being messy
Apparently, being less than perfect outside the bedroom = better sex. I guess what it shows is that one isn’t up-tight in the sack. If you care too much about how perfect the sex should be, then you wont be able to relax and enjoy sex. This goes for women who concentrate too much on having an orgasm that they end up not enjoying the process that gets them there.
“Let your sex life be less ‘perfect’ and focus instead on the physical and emotional experience of being open and connected to someone you love,” says marriage and family therapist Esther Boykin.
7. Unhealthy habits
We all need to eat and stay healthy. Ironically, some of the unhealthy habits we have could indicate how great we are in bed. Apparently, consumption of coffee increases blood flow there by increasing sexual arousal in women and reduces the rate of erectile dysfunction in men. And then there is wine: Drinking 2 glasses increases sexual desire and lubrication in women. Lets drink to that!