“It’s so hard for us to find quality black men… Don’t take black men from us. We want them.”
That is what Beth Marlowe’s black friends told her because she is a white woman dating black men– even though she doesn’t exclusively date black men. So she asked them why they don’t date non-black men. And almost in unison, they replied: “They don’t want to date us.” They added that non-black men who wanted to date black women were rare and that they had given up hope in finding serious interracial relationships.
The sad thing about the above sentiments is that online dating statistics confirm them. Going by dating preferences people indicate in online dating profiles, black women aren’t doing great… for some reason, non-black men would rather date non-black women. So this got Marlowe wondering whether she was hurting black women by dating black men.
10 years down the line, she still is dating black men because she doesn’t think its right declining to date someone based on race saying:
I imagined trying to explain my reasoning to the next black guy who hit on me at a party: “You’re great. Really… And I’d totally date you except I made a promise to some people not to date black men. No, no, no! Not like that! It’s actually the opposite of racist because the people I made the promise to are also black. So, you see, I’m trying to be nice to black people. But to other black people. Not to you. Not right now.” And then I would, what? Insist that the guy only hit on black women for the rest of the night? Interrupt if I saw him approaching an Asian woman?
Do you think the dating of black men by women of other races is unfair to black women? I think we should just date whoever makes us happy… whoever makes us tick… with no regard to race. That’s what’s fair. Let’s hear your opinions.