Oooh! How terribly un-PC. The term ‘fag hag’ has been used for decades. Its origins are as murky as the terminology itself. It is believed to have started as a derogatory phrase that gay men used to identify usually straight women, who would spend an awful lot of their free time hanging around with gay guys. You see, misogyny runs deep, even in the queer community. So, just as gay men reclaimed the insulting word ‘fag’, they had no issues referring to women in their company as ‘hags’.


There are other words that were similarly used to refer to women. And none of them particularly flattering, unless, of course, you happened to fall into a different category. That would be a ‘diva’. A diva is an entirely different type of woman who hangs out with gay men and who is generally adored and worshiped by them. Fag hags sometimes, but rarely, morph from one category to another. Quite honestly, you’re either a diva or you’re not, right from the outset. It’s not really a skill that can be learned.

Miss Fag Hag pageants

As with all subcultures and nasty names, many women who spent their time at gay clubs and bars and who enjoyed spending fun nights out with their gay male friends, began to reclaim the term ‘fag hag’. So much so that there are even Miss Fag Hag pageants. Only the most uptight members of the gay community and their female hangers-on find the term offensive, when used among themselves and for some, it’s a label worn with pride.

There are certain, very specific attributes that are required to be considered a true fag hag. Just going out dancing with your gay friend every so often is not sufficient. To be a true fag hag, you will need to have done at least half of the following things in pursuit of honorary membership to this exclusive club:

Attributes of a true fag hag

  • Drunkenly French kissed one of your gay male friends and then laughed with him about it the next day.
  • Taken off your shirt while dancing at a gay club.
  • Stroked your best gay friend’s hair for hours as they laid with their head in your lap telling you about their latest heartbreak.
  • Tried having sex with another girl once just to see if you were gay. You weren’t. As soon as your face got close to her pussy, you made your excuses and left and immediately told one of your gay male friends how you totally understand why they don’t like vagina.
  • Gone to a sex shop with a group of men and talked loudly about the benefits of various dildos.
  • Got tips from your gay friend on anal sex and the best lube to use.
  • Been a ‘beard’ for one of your gay male friends at a work event. (This means you pretended to be his girlfriend so that his colleagues wouldn’t know he’s gay.)
  • Accidentally outed one of your gay male friends in a public place much to his mortification.
  • Watched gay porn with your gay male friends and admitted that it made you a bit horny.
  • Nearly or actually gotten into a drunken fight with someone who said something homophobic around your gay male friends.

There are many other things that you can do that will result in you being considered an official fag hag. Which really is almost as good as being a mascot. You’ll know when you have earned this much-coveted title when your gay friends spontaneously start treating you as a much loved, but penisless, member of their clan.