Most people who have had the opportunity dating in both decades will argue that dating in your 30s is better because one is wiser, more mature, hence better dating choices. In your 20s, its more about fun and trial and error as you try to figure out what you really want in a partner. On the other hand in your 20s, you are more attune with what you want in a partner and are more focused to find what you’re looking for. So what other differences are there? Is it really more effective?

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How dating as a 30 year old man or woman is different from the 20s

The pressure

One major difference between dating in your 30s vs in your 20s is the time pressure. In the 20, both men and women feel that they still have plenty of time to settle down. But when one reaches their 30s, the feeling of “I am going to die alone” checks in. And this is more for women than men. For instance, a 35 year old woman will feel more pressure to settle down than a 35 year old man. “Why did I wait this long” comes to mind.

Much as you might be wiser dating in your 30s as a woman, this pressure for time can make one make the most mistakes when it comes to finding a partner. One might rush into settling down with someone just because they no longer want to be the single man or woman in their 30s.

Fun dates vs. settling down

In our early 20s, dating is like a form of entertainment. You are just from the awkward teenage phase and now you just want to freely explore the dating scene. And at this point, the perfect date is usually someone you can really have fun with. Going clubbing and dancing is usually the ideal date. And this is the period that people date the most because they feel like they are too young to settle down. Hookups, one-night stands, and friends with benefits relationships dominate this period.

When dating in your 30s, the focus shifts from getting a fun date to finding someone to settle down with. Suddenly you are more aware of the qualities you want in someone you plan to spend the rest of your life with and want to find what you’re looking for. In our 30s, we tend to look for long-term relationships as opposed to meaningless fun. So much as there might be the pressure to settle down, you still want to find the right mate.

Physical appearance

When dating in our 20s, we want someone hot. It’s usually the first question our friends ask when we tell them we have met someone new. Looks are the number one priority. The rest of the things like character come after that. And this is why during this period we go through a lot of failed relationships.

In our 30s, much as looks still matter, we find ourselves more drawn to a person because of their character. We focus on the qualities that make one a better person because you are looking for something long-term. So when dating in your 30s as a man or woman, you find yourself looking for more than just the looks because what is a hot man or woman who has no character? We find ourselves making better choices when searching for love. We tend to want to spend more time getting to know someone as opposed to rushing into settling down.


Falling passionately in love is the kind of love people in their 20s look for. We always go for the person who can arouse excitement and that thrilling feeling in our hearts. We are blinded by love.

What is different from falling in love in your 30s is that we look for someone who also knows how to love us. Falling and feeling love for the other person isn’t enough. We crave for the reciprocal kind of love because we are looking for something long-term. Yes, passion and compatibility are still important. But what is more important is how the person treats you. You will find that you are more comfortable with softer desires that last as opposed to fiery connections that don’t last. You want someone who is emotionally stable, respectful and easy to be with as opposed to interesting and complicated kind. Forming a solid and lasting friendship with a partner becomes the main priority.

How to get a date

Getting a date when dating in our 20s is very easy. All you need is to attend some fun even where other young and fun-loving people are and voila…

In our 30s, it kind of gets a bit complicated because we are busier trying to build our careers and securing our futures. It’s even harder for women than men. A 35 year old woman is considered old. The man of the same age is more alluring because he is considered more mature and ready to settle making them more desirable to women who want something long-term.

So if you are having trouble dating in your 30s because of your busy lifestyle and are wondering where to meet singles in your 30s, consider online dating. Its the easiest, cheapest and most convenient answer to how to get a date.


When dating in your 20s there is usually an obsession with sex. If you aren’t getting any, it becomes a big deal. So you might find yourself being with someone just for the sex. And this is the age where we really explore our sexuality.

In our 30s, people tend to be more aware of what they want. Commitment becomes the thing that drives us to have sex with someone.


Physical appearance in our 20s is something most people believe will get them dates. So because of this vanity, most men and women go out of their way to look good in order to get dates.

When dating in your 30s there is less pressure because people tend to look for someone who will love you and accept you just the way you are.

Whether you are a 20 year old man or woman, or a 30 year old man or woman, wanting to love and be loved is what everyone is searching for. Much as we might be searching for different things as we grow older doesn’t mean that both periods of dating can’t be enjoyed.

Are you considering dating someone with kids? Read this article.