It’s virtually harmless to flirt with the cute barman who always doubles up your drinks at no extra cost. Or even to go out for drinks with your work colleagues – one of which includes a very sexy, recently separated, Adonis. Isn’t it? While it might be relatively easy to give into temptation and spend the night with someone who seems to care more about you than household chores, bills, or sports games, the cheaters of this world know that it isn’t as easy to get back from it.
Research suggests that cheating on a partner doesn’t necessarily mean that you have fallen out of love, or even that a third party has entered the equation. (Although don’t get us wrong, we have witnessed the end of a lot of relationships thanks to an “irresistible” other man or other woman.) But a lot of the time, women in particular have been found to cheat due to a number of factors. These range from low self-esteem, to bad sex, to boredom, among others. And since a lot of women have confessed to regretting their cheating actions, we’ve compiled a short but hopefully very helpful list to give your marriage one final go and help you resist from straying from your betrothed. Here goes:
Spice up your sex life.
If a mediocre performance between the sheets is what’s making you tempted to complete that secret online dating profile, then all hope might not be lost just yet. There are many tricks to instantly spicing up a sex life; from buying sexy new lingerie (try surprising him with it one night, or if you’re feeling brave, go shopping for it together to make sure he likes it!) to trying new positions, introducing toys, roleplay and much more. Switch off the TV in your bedroom, dim the lights, and put on some mood music instead.
Go back to basics.
Try a relaxing bubble bath for two, a romantic meal without the kids or any other distractions, don’t talk about the bills or enquire about trash day, just let go and take it back to the good old days. Try and strip things back and remember why you fell in love in the first place. If getting dressed up and having a romantic, candlelit dinner is all you’re after, then there’s no reason not to look to your husband for it.
Do something you love.
No, we aren’t talking about the mailman. Since a lot of women attribute boredom to their affairs, it makes sense to keep your mind, body and soul occupied. Learn a new skill. Go to an evening class. Join a salsa dancing group. Practice yoga. Give back to charity. The list is virtually endless. If you think you’ll be less likely to stray with company by your side, then grab the girls and hit the cocktail bars. Spending time out of the house with your greatest gal pals is surely better than sitting at home contemplating a one night stand with the handsome intern at the office.
Don’t hold grudges.
Did your former flame or even your now-husband cheat on you at the start of your relationship? Don’t let your past dictate your present and future. Learn to let it go and focus on what you have. Some meditation or even some counseling might help.
Try couples counseling.
Speaking of counseling, talking to a trained professional instead of your opinionated best friend over a seemingly never-ending glass of chardonnay is probably a good idea. If you’re thinking about cheating, then perhaps not all is right with the relationship. And since it might be something very small and probably insignificant in the grand scheme of things, it might make sense to attend counseling with your partner in tow. Perhaps he holds the answers to where the relationship is going off course.