Flirting should be easy.
Come to think of it, it kinda is – except when feelings get in the way. Sounds odd right? Just ask yourself a question: “when do I feel more comfortable? When flirting with someone I really like or when I flirt with someone that doesn’t mean that much to me?”.
No Strings Attached
When that someone does not have an emotional hold on you, just be yourself as you don’t really need to make that much of a good impression. You are more self-confident and if he does not return your call, you just move on to your next “target”. You know exactly when and what to text him. You know what to answer to his messages without asking everyone’s opinion and you know when to make your next move without feeling any pressure. If he doesn’t feel the same, it’s ok – you’re not that into him anyway! When on a date with him you pull the strings and can control your feelings. The ball is in your court and you are playing the game with your rules, without any fears or sentimental obstacles that would make you look like another amateur on the field. Who cares if something goes wrong and the guy runs off – it won’t be with your heart under his sleeve so no hard feelings. You deal with your game loss move quite easily and move on to the next one.
Hearts and Butterflies
But what if you are in love with the person you‘re flirting with? Major game-changer. The game is lost even before it begins. And you have to live with that. You are just too afraid of losing him that you can’t get your facts straight. The moment you have to skillfully employ your charm in order to win the most important game of your life, that same moment your charm is gone and the beautiful and powerful woman that you are turns into a silly and confused little girl who can’t even articulate! Game over. Butterflies are replaced by a knot in your stomach, your heart is pounding and you can’t breathe every time you meet the One.
1. You overthink everything. Every word you say and every move you make are important and somehow you are making one mistake after the other. You say stupid things, you spill your drink on your clothes, you stumble and fall while he is walking you home, you accidentally hit him in the eye with your hand and the list goes on and on… You just feel like there is nowhere to hide.
2. You may be thinking that these kind of things only happen to you. You may also be thinking that you are suffering from an incurable mental illness. But that’s not the case. You are normal. You are just falling in love and the going gets tough but the tough get going. It’s like a black hole swallowed all your charm and love skills and leaving you standing there in a weak body of which you lost control.
With the wrong people you make the right moves but with the One you get it all wrong and that’s your drama.
You have to face it. Your first date was a total disaster and your first time in bed will probably be even worse. Sometimes, stress and passion reach very high levels and cannot be controlled. Just smile and play it cool. And don’t worry there’s always going to be another time! You’ll feel safer, you’ll see. In the meanwhile, you can certainly think of other things to do to spend time with him and get to know him better. I know you are feeling a bit embarrassed at the moment but that’s ok. It’s what happens with people we respect and love. And if he is the right, he will totally understand and fall in love with your embarrassment.
3. When it comes to texting, things also get complicated. You‘re waiting for him to text and every passing minute seems like a century in hell. It’s like the world stops spinning until he sends that “good morning” message. If it wasn’t for him sending that text, you wouldn’t care less. And if he meant nothing to you, you would just stop texting him. But now you really want that guy to text you back right? You don’t want to seem too pushy but you’re also dying for it. So what do you do in this case? To text or not to text? – That is the question. When you’re desperate the whole universe conspires in making everything worse!
4. When you are interested in someone that much, you carefully observe every single thing he does. Details that meant nothing to you before are now giving you a heart attack. He is not wearing the watch you bought him on his birthday, he is not kissing you all the time, he won’t give you a hug after sex, he is not calling very often, he was online but did not say anything etc. Everything looks suspicious to you and the only thing that can calm you down is him in your arms,with no one around and both your phones out of reach.
5. When you fall for someone you find it hard to relax and enjoy it. That’s the main reason why you mess everything up. You should try your hardest to clear your head from any negative thoughts and stop taking everything so seriously, otherwise you’ll end up losing your mind. Do you really believe karma is always to blame when everything goes wrong? A great love is not something you can buy from a supermarket. It does not come easily. Put your ego aside. It’s not about playing the game anymore. You have a lot more to lose than just your time. If the guy is into you, he will stay by your side no matter how much you embarrass yourself when you’re around him. He will love you with all your ups and downs. In fact he’s probably stressing over everything as well.
Stop over-analyzing everything and enjoy the ride. It’s a bumpy ride but it sure is worth it.