The most common thought for most men on their way out of the door for their first gay date is ‘Oh My God!’ The second most common thought is ‘Do I look hot?’ Both of these thoughts are completely reasonable under the circumstances. It’s an exciting, thrilling and nerve-wracking experience. It doesn’t matter how old you are. Some men don’t come out until they are in their forties and they still have these thoughts.

So, here are some additional things that you may want to consider even before you head out the door.

Where do you plan to find your first gay date?


Are you going to use a dating site or app? If so, make sure that you take sensible safety precautions. Let a trusted friend know where you will be going, who you are going with when you plan to be back. Arrange for them to call you at an agreed time just to make sure you’re OK. Ideally, arrange to meet somewhere public like a coffee bar.

Are you going to go to a club or bar and see if you can meet someone nice? If so, decide in advance what you are willing to do that night. It isn’t advisable to make your first real experience a quickie in a dirty bar bathroom, unless, of course, you think that hot and dirty is going to be your thing. Don’t get too drunk, or, even if you do have a one-night stand, you might not remember or be able to enjoy it. Worst of all, you may panic or get emotional.

Are you going on a blind date set up by friends? This is a pretty safe bet for a first gay dating experience. Your friends, hopefully, will want to look out for you and fix you up with someone nice and relatively sane.

What should I bring on my first gay date?


Condoms are the most important thing you’ll need to bring if you believe there is any chance your first date may end up as a sexual encounter. In this day and age, fucking on the first date is not out of the question. So, if you think you’re ready for that, make sure you have the tools you’ll need. If you’re not sure if you are a top (the one who fucks) or a bottom (the one who gets fucked) or you think you may go both ways, bring lube. If you are likely to be fucked and you are a virgin, you might even want to experiment at home with some sex toys first so that you’re a bit more comfortable with the experience.

The most important thing to bring, if you think you may be having sex, is a good knowledge of male anatomy, so do a bit of studying so you and your partner will have a more enjoyable experience.

Otherwise, just bring your sense of humor, charm, clean breath and phone – just in case you need an excuse to escape. Your first gay date should be fun and relaxing. If you are just a few minutes in and you already are bored or stressed, do yourself a favor and get out of the situation as politely as possible. A simple trick is to go to the bathroom and text a friend asking them to call you in five minutes. That way you can claim you have to leave urgently.

Should I tell him it’s my first gay date?

Honesty is always the best policy. This will also allow you to discuss your boundaries and expectations from the outset. If you are not ready for sex with someone on the first date, or even the second or third, then this is the opportunity to make that clear. If he’s not OK with that, then he’s probably not the right guy for you in the first place. A great date will probably be flattered that they are part of something so important and special to you and that is exactly what you must remember. Your first gay date should be something you look back upon with great fondness. So, treat yourself well. Make sure that your first gay date is worthy of that privilege. If he is, he may be on his way to becoming your first gay fuck. Have fun and stay safe.