We cannot run away from strong emotions but we sure can get better at managing them. The thing is, technological advancements have made it easier for human beings to access information. And unfortunately, not all of it is positive. The negative kind tend to make us feel bad emotionally. At the same time, no one lives in a bubble. So we are always meeting individuals who some rub off on us the wrong way. Are you telling yourself I wanna get better at handling the emotions?
Well, today on Love is all colors, we bring you some of these tips. Scroll on…
What is emotional intelligence?
To simply put it, emotional intelligence is one’s ability to recognize and manage their own emotions. This also applies to one’s ability to manage the emotions of other individuals. The questions to ask yourself is: Am I aware of the emotions? Can I connect these emotions and apply them appropriately? Can I manage my emotions or help other people emotionally?
According to psychologists, there is no authorized psychometric test for this. So emotional intelligence is just a way of gauging a person’s interpersonal skills. That said though, people are still subjected to this test. For instance, psychologists and even some employees will ask some questions to figure out where a person stands. Most of the questions asked are mainly about how one deals with specific situations. They are scenario based.
So someone who is emotionally intelligent is supposed to be conscious of their emotions, both positive and negative and manage them accordingly. They can also pick up on the emotions of others and offer a helping hand into managing them. For instance, this is a person who has the ability to cheer up a sad friend.
Characteristics of an emotionally intelligent person
- Awareness of the emotions, both positive and negative so as not to let them take control of them.
- Ability to control these emotions
- Self-motivation hence they tend to be very productive and effective
- They are empathetic. They prefer to understand what one might be going through given their circumstances as opposed to judging them too quickly.
- They have strong social skills. Such individuals are team players and are better at mitigating disputes between individuals and maintaining long-term relationships.
Tips on getting better at managing emotions
“I wanna get better at managing my emotions.” Is that what you are aiming for? The thing is some things happen in our lives that can take us from being calm to full on rage in a nanosecond. Can you be aware of this when it happens? We can’t run away from such things. All we can do is learn to manage such situations. Well here are some tips to help you get better at managing these emotions and those of others in a fashionable manner.
We encounter situations that might leva us feeling distressed or anxious. So we find ourselves breathing rapidly. This can be countered by something as simple as inhaling slowly, deeply and steadily thereby giving a person the well-deserved control in order to stay calm. Take a few deep breaths and you will be good to go. You need to feel relaxed and the deep breaths will do this for you.
Listen to your body
Our bodies have a way of talking to us when our emotions change. Are you breathing heavily after seeing something or after receiving some news? Are your muscles clenching? Is there a sudden feeling of nausea? These among others are some of the things you should be paying attention to. You need to be in a position to identify emotional changes.
Wiggle your toes. Bend your knees. And as we said above, breathe. These might seem like minute exercises but trust me, they go a long way to manage some of the instant emotions that bombard us.
Have a slogan to help you calm you
“I am well.” “This shall pass”. When looking for self improvement goals for work or personal ones, turn to mantras and slogans that you feel are powerful enough and that you believe in. “I will overcome this too!” Say it and mean it. Even when things are tough, there is always a bigger picture. Being positive will help you handle the emotions better and get better faster.
Encourage a friend
When it comes to emotions, its never just about us. Other people also come in to play. Other people arouse emotions in us too. And the opposite goes. If a friend is ill, how about some get well things to say to help them in getting better? If two people are fighting, try mitigating without taking sides. Empathize as opposed to judging. Put yourself in their shoes. That way you will understand what they are going through and maybe understand why they slapped you in the first place (lol).
Jot it down!
What is stressing you? Write it down. Yes, diaries might be overrated but trust me, there is a reason teenagers have them. Their emotions are all over the place and clearly, writing them out works. How about having an inventory of your emotions. What are the triggers for the bad ones? Do this daily. If you are in a position to avoid some situations that trigger the negative ones, then do so. Get a diary!
Identify what is within your control
Identify! That is the keyword. We have no control over what situations that we bump into on a daily basis. Plus, depending on the individual, two situations can’t be handled the same. There are things that you can control and there are those that are out of your control. Can you walk away from those that you cant? Are there some that you can actually know how things are going to pun out when you take a specific action? Try and balance these things. If it’s too much for you, especially if someone else is involved, just walk away.
Want more? Here is an article on how to stay emotionally healthy during a divorce.