Have you ever found yourself staring at the ceiling, thinking about whether it’s time to feed the dog and worrying about the bills while an eager man is working away at your vagina with his mouth? If not, you’re a very lucky woman.

For many women, no matter how earnest and enthusiastic a partner is, sometimes they just aren’t up to the job. It could be that his technique is flawed. It could just be your mood. Either way, gone are the days when women had to fake an orgasm to either put a stop to the effort or to satisfy his fragile sexual ego. Women are doing it for themselves.

Women and masturbation

Masturbation is no longer the taboo it once was for women. There are now many studies that have shown that masturbation is a healthy and positive activity. And orgasms are very good for all of us. This is all great news because it means that women have been learning how to please themselves. They know exactly how to give themselves what they want when they want it. Some women even have playdates with themselves and their collection of toys, enjoying a fun evening in with a little porn to warm them up.

Are men failing women?

Unfortunately, it seems that there are men who have lagged behind in their knowledge and skill set and still think that rubbing a woman’s clit repetitively with a finger or tongue for long enough will result in the big O. Fair enough, sometimes it does work, but not for every woman and not every time. Sometimes you will just want to push him aside and finish the job yourself, especially if your vagina is sore and you’ve got stuff to do.

If you’re in a really relaxed relationship with a guy who has healthy self-esteem, then the pushing him to one side thing may not be an issue. The truth is that most guys are going to be left feeling a little bit butthurt. They may not admit it though. No one likes to feel like they’ve failed to please their partner in bed, no matter how little effort they actually put into doing it. So, if you want to keep sleeping with him, you may want to let him down gently and there’s a really easy way to do that. You see, most men get off on watching women masturbate. That means that if approached with a little bit of sensitivity, it can be a win-win situation.

“How would you like to watch me get off for you, baby?”

All you have to do is get his attention, look into his eyes and say, as if it’s just some crazy idea you’ve come up with ‘How would you like to watch me get off for you, baby?’ Chances are that as soon as these words exit your mouth, he’ll get hard. Don’t worry about that though. This is about you. If he wants to play with himself while you are doing your thing, that’s OK. As long as he’s not distracting you and putting you off the task at hand. If he is, kindly request that he holds off until you’re finished.

It’s always wise to have a vibrator you love and some lube close by for times like this. Some women make sure they always have those essential items in their handbag and they are very wise women. If you don’t mind him helping and you feel that he will take instructions well, then let him know exactly what he can do to assist. If not, just let him watch and enjoy. Guaranteed he’ll learn a thing or two. And if there is a next time, he might just be able to get you to where you want to go all on his own.