You’re feeling a little bit romantic. No, wait a minute. Be honest. You’re feeling a little bit horny. Your man seems like he is feeling that way too. Things have been progressing nicely and you’ve gotten to the hot and heavy phase. And then, nothing. Nope. Nada. Not a thing. He can’t get it up! He’s flaccid as the birthday balloon you found behind the sofa three weeks after the party.

Is it you?

The first instinct is to believe that it’s you. Have you put on weight? Does your breath smell? Does he not find you attractive anymore? Even worse. Does he have someone else? The thoughts will be running through your head and probably, before you know it, coming out of your mouth. He tries to reassure you while pretending he’s not embarrassed. You just keep believing it’s all about you. There it goes. The moment is over and you both end up feeling awful.

Let’s take a step back and try to be rational about this. There are many reasons why men can’t get an erection or fail to maintain one and believe it or not, it’s not going to be anything to do with you. Well, unless you are stressing him out so much that it’s affecting his sexual health. Pressuring him about his inability to perform will certainly not be helping.

Underlying medical condition

If he’s a regular sex partner, your boyfriend or husband and he’s never had problems in this area before, the first thing to think about is his health. A sudden change in the body’s ability to function normally is very often a sign of an underlying medical condition. So, it would be worth taking a trip to the doctor. It may turn out that his penis may save his life as it can be an early warning sign of heart problems and other illnesses such as diabetes and central nervous disorders.

Of course if he’s overweight, a smoker, a heavy drinker or getting older, these can all be contributing factors. If you want a healthy penis, you need to take care of the body it belongs to. When looking at age as a factor, remember that declining testosterone levels are not uncommon and can certainly be reflected in erections. There are also certain prescribed drugs that can affect the ability to get hard. Nonprescription, recreational drugs often cause laziness of the penis symptoms. If your guy smokes a lot of weed, do not be surprised if it’s as stoned as he is.


If the man in your hand is not a regular sex partner and this is your first time together, then you may simply be experiencing the symptoms of genuine nervousness. Many men, particularly if they are a bit shy, inexperienced or anxious about a sexual encounter or new sexual partner simply get the willies in their willy and nothing they can do will make it work properly. The more they try, the more excruciatingly humiliating it gets and that just makes the problem even worse.

The best thing you can do in this sort of situation is to back off, slow down and be patient. There is no doubt that persistent horniness can overcome nerves. So go back to flirting and teasing. Take it really slow. Don’t even involve genitalia. If you do this right, he’ll have a raging hard on before either of you know it and you can help him overcome his nerves by using one of the most fun and pleasurable forms of therapy known.