First dates are great, aren’t they? That feeling of butterflies. The magic, uncertainty and wonder of getting to know someone new. The flirtations and growing tensions as the evening progresses. Will the evening end in a goodnight kiss, or won’t it?
If it does, will he call, or won’t he? When will he call? Should you call him if he doesn’t?
All of these questions, and more, invariably flit through your mind. The other question that invariably springs to mind is:
“Is he interested?”
For many women, men represent a true puzzle. They can often be Sphynx-like, and that can be absolutely maddening and mystifying to women.
This is certainly not a new problem. Whole books have been written about the differences between men and women when it comes to matters of the heart, and the differences in how men and women communicate.
There’s good news though. Once you understand the way (most) men think, it gets a lot easier to read them.
From an emotional standpoint, part of the reason for the serious disconnect is that women tend to be much more in tune with their feelings, and much more willing to talk about them and express them openly. Men tend to be somewhat stunted in that regard. Most men have just simply never had a lot of practice when it comes to making their feelings known in a way that women can understand them.
Reading the signals
That doesn’t mean, however, that men don’t send signals. They do. It’s just that most women don’t understand what they’re seeing.
The reality is that men are actually pretty easy to understand. If they have full stomachs, a place to lay their heads, and a steady source of income, most men are actually fairly content. That’s a bit of a generalization of course, but only a bit, once you understand that, figuring men out becomes a lot easier.
In terms of romance, men want sex, understanding, and encouragement. The order may be different from one man to the next, but those are the basics. If you are open, sexually, demonstrate yourself to be an attentive and supportive partner, and offer regular encouragement, you’re golden.
How men express their feelings
Where communication signals are concerned, most men just aren’t very verbal. It is a rare man indeed who will just come out and say how he’s feeling. Most of their signals are going to take the form of non-verbal communication. If you learn to watch for certain subconscious gestures, his interest (or lack thereof) will quickly become apparent.
How to tell if he is interested
- The first signal you’ll see if a man is interested in you is that he’ll take pains to touch you. Your arm… your hand… your shoulder. He won’t exactly hover, but he’ll stay close by. Most men aren’t even aware they’re doing this, but it’s almost like a subconscious “marking of territory.” He’s sending a signal to the other males that this one’s taken, and to move along.
- The second signal you’ll see is something that almost no man is actually aware of, but virtually all of them do it when interested in a woman. They stretch. They roll their shoulders.
The reason is that both of these actions have the effect of making them seem physically larger. Again, this is all primal behavior. Big males are protectors. They’re strong. They’re basically preening for you.
If you don’t believe this, pay close attention to male body language the next time you’re out, especially men who are in the company of women. It’s unbelievable how common you see those two behaviors, and it’s a sure sign of male interest.