Interracial gay couples were rare and very secretive in the past because there was a lot of legal suppression of such relationships. Today, things are different. There has been a rise in interracial same-sex couples in the past decades. More and more gay men and women are feeling more confident coming out of the closet. Is this an indicator of positive change? Keep scrolling for more on this topic…
Does seeing more gay interracial couples mean more acceptance?
The unions of interracial same-sex couples have received mixed messages and feelings from society at large. Now one thing we have to admit is that it is harder to be in a gay interracial relationship that it is to be a gay same-race couple or a heterosexual interracial couple.
Now being gay carries its own stigma. Being an interracial couple carries its own stigma too. So imagine being a combination of the two and having to deal with family, friends, and society in general. Race is a complex issue within the gay community. There are some people who view such relationships as those that are breaking a taboo – two taboos!
That said, in recent years it is very easy to spot a gay interracial couple. The numbers between the year 2000 and the year 2010 have increased significantly fast. Plus, gay couples are as likely as heterosexual couples to get into interracial relationships. If anything same-sex couples are most likely to be interracial or interethnic. Plus when looking at the issue of racial composition, black gay men are more likely to date interracially.
Why we are seeing more interracial gay dating
Independence of young adults
The increasing independence of young adults has made them make bolder decisions about their choices of whom they date based on ethnicity and sex.
The geographical mobility of young adults also gives them independence from their communities of origin and cultures. According to studies, non-traditional couples (same-sex and interracial) tend to be more geographically mobile.
More support of gay relationships
Looking at the years back, there are more people support same-sex marriage compared to those who see it as taboo. So more people who are in the closet are coming out. At the same time, more states in the U.S., as well as other countries, are legalizing gay marriages and gay rights. And even those who probably haven’t yet legalized the marriages recognize gay rights. The thing is, the acceptance of people of a gay interracial relationship is increasing in every age, ethnicity, and gender since 2004.
Interracial dating is slightly more common in same-sex couples than in heterosexual ones
Looking at the racial and ethnic compositions of same-sex couples gay couples tend to be interracial, especially when it comes to black-white couples. For instance, gay black men are more likely to be in interracial unions. About 1/3 of all gay male relationships are interracial.
The rise in gay interracial dating sites
There are lots of gay interracial dating sites. All you need to do is just search for an interracial gay dating app and you are good to go. Now, much as black gay men as a whole are constantly fighting for acceptance, visibility, and equal rights apparently, this struggle has never stopped them from openly declaring their love for non-black men. For instance, when you go through profiles of gay black men on Grindr and Scuff, you will find lots of “no chocolate” on their profiles.
There are communities that are deeply rooted in Christian foundations. For instance, the Black and the Latino communities. So most gay men from such communities grow up as outcasts in their own homes and neighborhoods leading to the “down-low” culture. So they tend to accept their orientation in the dark. Now, most tend to associate this homophobia with all people from their communities. So when they date interracially, they get the opportunity to focus on the relationship without having to deal with all the racial baggage.
Why it is harder being in an interracial gay relationship
One thing we have to agree on is that we are lumping two stressors into one relationship. The race aspect and the same-sex aspect. So this definitely doesn’t make it easier. They get discriminated both for being gay and for being an interracial couple.
The other thing is, you might have gotten acceptance as being an LGBT person but then you can also be pushed out because you fell in love with someone from a different race. So the tolerance of interracial relationships we have fought for and achieved when looking at straight interracial couples can splinter when a same-sex factor is added to the equation.
There is also a higher risk of being discriminated against. Both larger groups, ‘gay couples’ or ‘interracial couples’ may feel threatened by the other with hurtful stereotypes cropping up. For instance, the gay component might see sexual orientation as intrinsic and the interracial aspect as a choice.
The thing is, even gay men on any interracial gay dating app and within society can actually be racist too.
Simply put, some gays can be racist. And people of all races can be homophobes. The gay interracial couple must cope with these issues. Also, they should deal with any consternation visited upon them by the community around them. It can be a heavy burden to bear.
Do interracial gay couples work? Of course, they do. Although it may sound strange, there are actually several advantages to being in a gay interracial relationship. Here are a few
Benefits of being a gay interracial couple
People usually find gay couples that have crossed ethnic boundaries pretty interesting. Genuine curiosity about interracial gay couples is usually aroused. And this curiosity makes people even forget about hating on them and instead they tend to be surprised. Plus, it also makes some even empathize with their struggles.
With gay couples in interracial relationships, people tend to have more questions about how the couple met and making people find out more about you as human beings. Once they get to understand them, there is less hatred the moment they get to know the real person.
Being a small percentage of the community, in more progressive parts of the country and the world, gay couples tend to be given more positive special attention. Now adding the interracial factor to it, this is not something you see a lot of. So that special attention is doubled because of the exotic flair that comes with it. So whenever you go out, there are those who will always look at you in admiration.
More often than not you only have one family to deal with – or none at all
In most cases, when it comes to interracial relationships, one or the other family is overseas… miles and miles away. So if there is a potentially angry family to deal with, its just one. At the same time, most gay couples usually move away from family members who tend to be homophobic so that they can freely date who they want. So in such cases, you get breathing space away from disapproving family members.
Do interracial gay couples work?
The thing is, much as there has been a growing acceptance to interracial gay couples, it can also be harder finding other couples that share both attributes – gay and interracial. We keep hoping that tolerance and acceptance of both kinds of relationships will become much more widespread. This will also assist gay interracial couples to relax and enjoy their loved ones without constant fear, anxiety, and stress. Here are some of the best summer holiday destinations for gay couple.
There is always a silver lining. The thing is, we need to look at interracial dating in the LGBT community as a beautiful thing. Yes, it might still be a touchy issue for some people but we are getting somewhere. People’s refusal to see such relationships as anything but beautiful is an indicator of internal issues as well as backwardness. Dating outside of your race is not an indication of internalized race issues and self-hatred.
The thing when we look at the issue at hand, clearly, LGBT have to face pressures and difficulties because of sexuality and then also deal with race too. But you know what, people are making it work. Whether we like it or not, there will always be bigots and racists to deal with. But hey, let’s look at the bright side… The numbers are showing that there is increased acceptance. And for me, that is a good thing.
For more articles about gay couples, visit Love is All Colors.