Is once a cheater always a cheater true? Well, this is a question that if I may be asked to answer, I would say, not necessarily. That said, science has a different take on this. According to some new research on the once a cheater always a cheater statistics, it seems that people who have cheated before are three times more likely to cheat on their current partners. Read on as we explore this a little bit more…
Do cheaters always cheat again?
The phrase cheaters always cheat has been used for years. If you ask someone who has been cheated on before whether the phrase holds water, chances are they will say yes. They always have the fear that it’s going to happen again. This makes them more watchful of the signs that it’s going to happen again. They are usually four times more likely to suspect a new partner of cheating.
Now, there are those people who have been burned twice. They caught their spouse cheating. And then after deliberation and considering the spouse’s apology and promise that it would never happen again, they gave them a second chance. Unfortunately, after a while, they were cheated on again. Twice beaten. If you direct the question is once a cheater always a cheater true to such people, then the answer will be a definite yes! Twice beaten, thrice shy!
The thing is, there will be no convincing such a person to forgive again or hope that the cheater will change. Unless there is something else keeping them in that relationship, then that will be the end of it. Such people usually have trust issues after that. It’s going to be hard to convince such a person that they will meet someone who won’t cheat on them. So whatever relationship they get into, all they will be doing is looking for signs that the man or woman is cheating instead of paying more attention to building the relationship.
What does research tell us?
What does research have to say about this cliché? The first study that scientifically looked into whether cheaters always cheat again found that there was some truth behind the phrase. 31/2 more likely to do it again. Unmarried mates who have cheated before are three times more likely to do it again in their next serious relationship. So if we are to go by this research, there is such a thing as serial cheaters.
That said though, there was a considerable number of those who cheated once and never did it again. This means there is no absolute truth to this cliché. So this might be true but not in all cases.
It was found that people were two to four times more likely to cheat if they suspected or knew of their partner’s previous infidelities from a past relationship. The other thing that came up was a repeat pattern. Those that had been cheated on before were at a higher risk of partnering with individuals who also cheat in their later relationships.
If we hold the cliché once a cheater always a cheater to be true, then we will be suggesting that cheaters have one all-encompassing profile. But the truth is, people cheat for different reasons. And this is what makes the phrase not absolutely true.
I know there is no excuse for cheating. But there are those who might say that they were pushed into cheating because of the emotional or sexual neglect they were getting from their spouses. Well, I say, why not end the relationship first then start something with someone else afterward?
The thing is, based on reasons why a person cheated, people have been trying to classify cheaters into categories. This is not really clear cut because there are different reasons and needs for cheating as well as different kinds of cheating.
Do serial cheaters exist?
When trying to answer is once a cheater always a cheater true, the question of serial cheaters usually pops up. Well, if I am to be honest, they usually exist. But most of them don’t do it because of something within themselves that they cannot control. The actions of serial cheaters normally stem from narcissism that their circumstances.
One thing we have to admit is that people have different personalities. And sometimes such personalities are the reason serial cheaters exist.
Will cheaters always cheat?
Well, here are some scenarios where the phrase can hold water.
The thrill of more: There are some people who find two-timing thrilling. They like the idea of just having two or more men or women at the same. These are people who just can’t commit to being in a monogamous relationship. Now, they know all this to be true but because they are thrill-seekers, they probably love the dishonesty behind it. They just want to be two timers – they don’t want open relationships.
Narcissism: There are those folks who cheat just because they are selfish and only have their interests at heart. To a narcissist, an affair is no big deal. They will do it just because an opportunity presented itself… The thing is, their craving for attention and admiration is what makes them cheat.
Sensation seekers: Some people just have a heightened need for risky and thrilling sexual encounters. Apparently this is linked to some form of deficiency in dopamine receptors. So basically, there is some deficiency in the part of the brain that deals with the feeling of pleasure. So for them, they tend to seek bigger thrills that revolve around cheating and sneaking around in order to satisfy this deficiency and experience the same level of pleasure the rest of us would.
Sex addicts: Do I really need to expound on this? Well, these are the kind of cheaters to really be a lookout for – chronic cheaters.
Do one-time cheaters exist?
Is once a cheater always a cheater true? Are there people who only cheat once and never do it again? There may be serial cheaters as mentioned above. But there are also some cheaters who do it only once.
First off where a person is at some point in their life could affect how they view the relationship they are in. For instance, most people tend to cheat more on their partners when they are in college. This we could attribute to peer pressure or trying not to feel like they are being tied down. How a person feels at a particular moment can motivate them to cheat.
Lack of self-confidence could be one of the reasons that might make someone who wouldn’t otherwise cheat do it. For instance, being in a relationship that makes you feel undesirable then suddenly meeting someone outside the relationship that boosts that confidence.
Then there are those one-time occurrences where one might cheat because they resent their partners. There are those who do it out of revenge – she cheated so I will cheat too.
The thing is, the above circumstances can be changed. And even if the once a cheater always a cheater statistics lean more towards just that, there is no absolute truth in it. People grow. Some people feel real remorse and make dramatic changes in their lives and never cheat again. People who cheat based on circumstances don’t necessarily do it again, especially when they meet someone they are more compatible with in their future relationships.
Should I trust again?
One thing most people struggle with when wondering whether to give a sincerely apologetic unfaithful person a chance is whether or not they should trust them again. No matter the reason for an affair, they always create such pain and unhappiness.
Now one might find themselves in a situation where leaving might become more detrimental than staying. There might be other factors in play that make ending the relationship not be an option. But one question always remains: do cheaters always cheat again? This question always looms large. Is this person worth staying with? Should you trust this person again?
The thing is, a lot of married couples will tell you that they have managed to work things out even after an affair. Once given a second chance, there are those who never cheated on their spouses again. There are those who lost something great over a meaningless affair that after moving on into a new one, have never cheated ever again too because they know the consequences of cheating.
Does a cheater have a specific profile?
Just because your partner strayed once doesn’t necessarily mean that they will do it again. There are those who realize how much their actions hurt the people they loved and change. There are those who make the change even before being caught after realizing how foolish their behavior is. The thing is, remorse and forgiveness had been able to keep couples going for years. So, instead of making rush decisions, here are some 10 questions to ask your unfaithful spouse that can help you gauge whether they are worth giving a second chance to or not.
Will cheaters always cheat? If we say yes, then it means that human beings are incapable of change or of feeling remorseful. Yes, there may be a study on serial cheating that endorses the cliché. This doesn’t mean that a person who cheats ones will do that for the rest of his life.
The thing is, some people have created and they have empathized with the pain their actions caused the person they once loved. Even if they did it because they had fallen out of love, they feel terrible about having gone through that route as opposed to coming out in the open and ending it before moving to someone else.
Is once a cheater always a cheater true? In my point of view, NO! Just like all other sins, I believe people can change. I still have some faith in humanity. Whatever the reasons that might be behind someone’s infidelity or the choice to keep cheating, I think those who usually want to change do change. Even sex addicts do reform once they decide to take a step towards that direction.
So if you are in a committed relationship or marriage and then your partner slipped and is remorseful enough to convince you that they will never do it again, weigh things out and see if they are worth giving a second try.
For more advice and articles on infidelity, visit Love is All Colors.