Have you ever wondered what men’s point of view on what to do after a breakup is? Breakups are hard! While women naturally seek comfort in the arms of friends and family, we guys get busy and seek a new relationship almost immediately. In this article, we will explore what to do after a breakup, from the male perspective. While it seems like a breakup has more effect on the ladies, it also affects guys. It’s much more than you think.
Read this article to find out what one man’s thoughts are.
How guys after a breakup handle the situation
Let’s get one fact straight! Guys are not wired the same way ladies are. We may get totally bummed especially after the split but we express pain in a different way. I bet you all may have had reactions from guys after a breakup that makes them look like “world-class jerks” – reactions like complete ignorance, frequent nightstand binges, beginning a new relationship, among others. I could go on and on.
The important thing I need you to understand is that it is all a mask and it is really not about you. Don’t get confused. I will explain in a bit. A lady may believe a guy is doing all of these “jerkish” acts to get some kind of attention from her. The truth is that it is his way of dealing with breakups and the emotional rollercoaster that he is going through, however self-destructive that sounds.
Let’s examine this further…
Some behavior exhibited by guys after a breakup
I bet you are familiar with these behaviors but I’ll let you in on what goes on in our minds with regards to the actions we take.
Sometimes, men after breakup prefer to cut all contact with the woman. For the lady, it translates to “he never cared about me”. But trust me, it is far from the truth.
A man’s mind: While society demands that we should not curl up in a ball (and possibly wail), we cut off all contact or ignore completely in order to give ourselves space to heal (which hardly works!). It’s also because we are not ready to face you or deal with the fact that we have broken up.
Increasing one-night stands
The male psychology after a breakup will direct him to have random flings. For a woman, this could only mean that he has moved on so quickly, leaving you to wonder if you never meant anything to him.
A man’s mind: A guy involved in flings is only trying to gain external validation as a result of the hurt self-esteem that comes with a breakup. Unfortunately, this does not work in the long run. But hey, our minds are not revealing this bit to us at the moment. All we want to do post-breakup is prove that other women want us too even if it leads us down the wrong road.
Jumping into a new relationship
What to do after a breakup for guys is to jump into another relationship. For women, they feel angry, hurt and betrayed. Some would go as far as seeing the guy as heartless because of how fast he moved on with his life.
A man’s mind: Men after breakup do this to fill the hole left behind (especially if you were the one that broke up with us) and get our self-worth back. We need the adoration of another person to feel good about ourselves. At the end of the day, we sabotage it, because, let’s face it, you cannot keep running away from the negative feelings within.
He acts like a huge “jerk”
Guys behavior after breakup sometimes is to act irrationally in a way that is off-putting. For a woman, it says that the man is not “man enough” to own up to his faults. She takes these to heart and it makes her feel horrible, forgetting that his behavior has more to do with the anguish he is going through.
A man’s mind: Men after breakup try to vent without losing their masculinity. This is why you may experience bouts of angry blowups or yell (or much more) from us. In our warped up thinking, the more we lash out, the better we think we will feel. Sadly, it makes us feel crappier than we were. As usual, we refuse to deal with it.
Bringing it all together: Man vs Woman after break up
I can bet you that breakups are hard on guys. At times, even harder. Of course, ladies can bawl their eyes out, vent it on friends and receive support until they eventually get over it (or at least start to feel the pain less). On the other hand, there is no release for guys after a breakup. We all just try to put up a “macho” performance and enter into our “man-caves”.
This brings up the question: do guys hurt after a breakup? The answer is a resounding “YES!” We simply try our best to mask our feelings by keeping our emotions in check (at least for most of us!). I dare say: men take longer to get over a relationship than women because we try to suppress our emotions and shield ourselves from the pain of the loss.
Women normally have a grieving period. Men after breakup do not by default. This is why men will ignore the whole breakup thing completely. Women on the other hand will still be trying to get over them. On the issue of closure, women go into analysis mode and talk to friends in order to find closure. For guys, finding closure translates to jumping into another relationship.
Everyone will agree with me that a guy’s post-breakup actions have to do with the turmoil he is going through emotionally. So, don’t get confused when you see these signs after this. Don’t get me wrong. I am not trying to make excuses for our behavior especially when we are being jerks. Being a jerk is not okay. I just want you to know that it is about us and not about you or the relationship shared.
At the end of the day, the distraction fades and we go back to Mother Earth and eventually have to deal with all the feelings that have been shelved up for long. Whether we like it or not, love is all colors… Whew! God help us at that moment!
If you are asking yourself: “How can I get over my ex?” then read this article and see how one of our writers did it.