First dates. They can be awful, or they can be absolutely awesome. Or, they can be totally forgettable. The difference often lies in the planning. Bad first dates tend to stick in the memory of your date. They also tend to ensure there won’t be a second. Every guy agonizes over that first date with someone he’s really interested in. Here are some ideas for making that first date one your significant other will never forget, and in a good way.

Know Your Companion

If you’ve worked up the courage to ask someone out, chances are you’ve been around them in a casual way for a while. If you think this is someone you want to get to know better, you need to know some things about them before setting up the all-important first date.

First, find out about activities you might have in common. If you’re both athletic and outdoorsy, and you live within driving distance of a whitewater river, ask your intended date if she’s into whitewater rafting. If the answer is yes, plan a Saturday outing on a river. Pick up your date early, and grab breakfast as you drive to your destination. Have water and snacks along, and after you’ve completed rafting, drive to a popular local restaurant for a late lunch. Head back home on the scenic route, and find a romantic spot for a leisurely dinner.

If your intended date is not into activities such as rafting, find out other interests – if, for example, you’re a private pilot, ask if she’s interested in flying to some other city for the arts scene located there, and if she says yes, book a plane and head for the skies.

Are you into helping others?Then ask your intended date if she’d like to donate a day to helping somebody. In case she’s okay with that, take her to a Habitat for Humanity build. Spend the day helping someone get the home they need, and finish it off with a well-earned dinner.

Knowing your dates interests and preferences will avoid clashes, such as taking a vegan date to a barbeque cook-off and ending any potential relationships before they start. So, indulge in casual chat with the goal of learning what she likes.

Budget for a Good First Impression

No guy wants his date to think he’s a cheapskate, but he doesn’t want her to think he’s Donald Trump, either. The trick is to plan a first date which will impress her, but not leave her with false expectations. If you get the idea your intended expects you to drop a wad of cash on her and this is not possible, either find someone with a more realistic outlook, or plan a date involving small outlays of cash for maximum impact. Plan on a trip to an amusement park with a picnic lunch, or maybe drive to a tourist attraction and let her spend her own money shopping, with a picnic in tow.

Whatever you end up planning, keep your target audience in mind. It’s completely possible to have an awesome first date for reasonable money, and to impress your date with your abilities. So, go for it! Don’t just do dinner and a movie – be creative and build a memory you’ll both enjoy.

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There’s some advice about dating that knows no boundaries. This isn’t a race thing. Sometimes, good dating advice is just good dating advice, and this is one of those times. Below, I’m going to show you a method of getting around that awkward “when do I call?” conundrum that so many people face right after a successful first date. It’s actually easier than you might think, and honestly, it comes down to the fact that most people overthink it. Here’s what you do:

After the first date, whether or not there’s a goodnight kiss involved, and before you part company for the evening, make a definitive plan to call. There are a couple of different scenarios here. If you’ve driven separately (not really recommended), ask her to call you when she gets home, so you know she made it home safely. Then, when you’re on the phone, set up another definitive time you’ll be calling again before you hang up. If you’ve picked her up and are taking her home, tell her you’ll call her when you get home so that she knows you made it home safely, and again, set a definitive time for the call after that.

Ladies, I know that in this modern age, you’re free to do the calling and set the dates, and that’s fine. The same advice will work for you, but in my experience, women generally want to be the women in a relationship, and they’d prefer that men be the men. The advice above is in that spirit. If you want to be the one to do the calling in the above scenarios, that’s fine. If you’d like to gently guide your man to BE the man in your relationship, then the advice above can still work, simply add the twist that when the date ends, you make the recommendation to him that he call you when he gets home so that you know he got home safely. Just make it clear to him that you enjoyed the date, and are looking forward to your next outing together.

Of course, if you don’t hear from your date at the appointed time, you should absolutely make one or perhaps two additional attempts to follow up, but if you still don’t hear anything, then that’s sending you a pretty clear message too, right? In any case, the plan outlined above takes all the guesswork out of the equation, and simplifies everything, which is as it should be.

For the guys reading this, just bear in mind that in keeping with the overall spirit of this advice, most women want you to be the man in your relationship, so be the one to do this without being asked or prompted. Let her know right up-front that you’ve got a plan, then stick to it.

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