Human beings have five senses and all of those play a part in sexual arousal including what we hear. Unfortunately, due to taboos in society about saying ‘bad’ words, talking about sex or even personal pleasure, many people miss out on this. Some of the only experiences people have had with hearing others talk dirty are when watching porn and have probably found themselves cringing at the often-repeated phrases so commonly used. Yes, we’re sure she wants it harder deeper and thinks that his penis is so big. But is that really all there is to dirty talk?
Talking dirty comes in many forms. It can be used both as a form of flirting and foreplay as well as serving to enhance and intensify sexual enjoyment while having sex. So, here is a basic guide to talking dirty for beginners and how to find those key words and phrases that push all the right buttons when said at just the right time.
Dirty talk as foreplay is a great way for people who are a bit shy about expressing what they want and what they like verbally to get started. It’s also a way to help overcome some of the inhibitions people may feel about swearing. Words like ‘fuck’, ‘suck’, ‘cock’, ‘pussy’ and ‘ass’ are great as part of dirty talk, but not always necessary, especially if you have a good imagination. Also, dirty talk doesn’t always have to be actual ‘talk’ to get started and be in the form of texts, emails or hand written notes.
A good place to start is to send little messages or make little comments about something you have already done that you really liked, something that you’d like to do, how your partner makes you feel or how much you want them. Be descriptive. Things like ‘when you were licking me last night, I nearly lost my mind. I can’t wait to do it again’ is not only a fantastic way to communicate your needs but is guaranteed to get your partner aroused.
If that’s too much for you, a simple ‘I can’t stop thinking about the things you did to me last night and how good it made me feel’, might be easier.
Dirty talk as foreplay
Using dirty talk in foreplay is one of the best ways to let your partner know what you like and what you’d like to do with them so while you’re making out and getting hot and heavy, try to be brave and say exactly what you want. Remember when they touched you in a certain spot, sucked you in a certain spot, licked you a certain way? Well, remind them and let them know how you’re likely to respond as that’s going to really get them going and they’ll be eager to get you there as soon as possible. Think about saying something like ‘When you wouldn’t let me cum the other night, I nearly begged you for it. If you do it again tonight, I’ll beg’. Or how about ‘I nearly exploded when you teased my ass the other night. I want you there so bad right now.’
This sort of descriptive request is a huge turn on during sex and is also the best way to get what you want out of the experience, but what about when you’re getting what you want. What can you say to enhance your partner’s experience?
When to say how you want it
The time to say how you like things is while you are getting them. This will encourage your partner while also heightening their own excitement. This is when you let them know how hard you like it, how fast you like it and how you are feeling right there in the moment. If something they are doing is making you feel like you are going to have an orgasm, let them know if you want it now or if you want them to slow down.
When to say why you want it
If you love what they are doing at that moment, tell them and tell them why. So saying ‘Touch me faster, I’m dripping and I’m about to cum’, will get you there if you that’s where you want to be now. Whereas saying ‘If you don’t slow down, I’m going to fucking lose control and I want you to make this last’ will let your partner know that you love what they and want to enjoy it for longer.
If their hardness, wetness, moaning, humping, sucking, fucking, licking or biting is driving you crazy, that’s when you want to turn them on even more by telling them. ‘Don’t stop fucking me like that. It’s taking me to another world’ or ‘Keep sucking me like that baby and you’ll own my body’ will make sure they don’t stop and keep them ready for more.
Nothing is taboo in private with your consenting sexual partner, so let go of your hang-ups, be honest and start talking dirty. You’ll be tickling one of their erogenous zones and ensuring you are getting exactly what you want.