If you’re gay, lesbian or bisexual then you’ll know that coming out to family and friends can be a tricky process. It’s different for every single individual and there is no ‘right’ way to do it. There are some very wrong ways to do it, though, and we thought we’d collect our top ten list of the worst ways to come out to your parents. Get ready to cringe.

  • You just arrived home from college for the holidays. Your childhood best friend also happens to be your regular fuck buddy and you’ve brought her a very special surprise. Your mother has been asking you about your love life and you’ve been avoiding it completely. You still haven’t unpacked. You’ve just popped outside to have a smoke. Your mother hears a strange buzzing in your suitcase. Thinking that your electric toothbrush is wearing out its battery, she helpfully has a look. What she finds is a ten inch, hot pink, strap on vibrating dildo. As you walk back into the room, you are horrified to find her trying to find the off switch.


  • You accidentally text your dad, instead of your date. The text reads ‘looking forward to sucking you long and hard’. Your dad replies ‘I don’t think that text was meant for me, son.’
  • You find your supposedly straight dad on Grindr and can’t help but messaging him.
  • Your dad says he thinks that the next door neighbor is gay and you forgetfully reply, ‘Oh definitely. He hit on my ex-boyfriend’.
  • You accidentally group message your entire family with ‘David and I are going to a leather cowboy themed party tonight. Anyone have a cowboy hat I can borrow?’.
  • You have to call your mom to bail you out after getting arrested for soliciting an undercover police officer for sex in the toilets at a Pride fundraising event.
  • You accidentally send your parents a Christmas card that says ‘I love Christmas, just not as much as a big fat penis’.
  • You’re in the mall with your family shopping for bridesmaids dresses for your sister’s wedding. As you walk out of the ladies room, while they are all waiting outside, a girl you’ve been dating walks up to you, grabs your behind and sticks her tongue in your ear.


  • The whole family sits down to watch the new Star Wars movie on DVD. The DVD player won’t eject the DVD that’s in it already, so your dad fiddles around with it for a bit. He hits the play button accidentally and on the screen are three guys going at it hot and heavy. Seei you were the only one in the house last night, they all look at you.
  • Your dad pops over to visit and notices a box of condoms on the kitchen counter. He gives you a nudge and a wink and asks, knowingly, if you have something planned that evening. You smile and tell him that you have a super hot date coming over for dinner. As your dad opens the door to leave, standing on the doorstep is a gorgeous man with a bottle of champagne in his hands saying ‘Hey, I thought I’d surprise you early to celebrate our two-month anniversary baby cakes.’ While your dad stands there in shock, your date proceeds to look him up and down, frown, and then say ‘What is this piece of behind doing here? I thought you were saving yourself for me. And he’s so old!’ As you’re dying inside you say ‘Jason, meet my dad.’