We all want to get attention in the dating scene and maintain that attention with our charm and sexiness. So what can one do to become irresistibly sexy?
1. Have a Sense of Humor.
A great sense of humor is sexy and attractive to both men and women alike. We all want people to laugh at our jokes. However men and women gauge a person’s sense of humor differently.
According to the book ‘Mating Intelligence Unleashed: The Role of the Mind in Sex, Dating, and Love’, authors Glenn Geher and Scott Barry Kaufmann found research suggesting that:
“…while both men and women say they like a “good sense of humor” in a potential mate, they differ in what they mean by this phrase. Women tend to prefer men who make them laugh, whereas men tend to prefer women who laugh at their jokes… women were more likely to describe their good humor appreciation ability whereas men were more likely to offer good humor production ability.”
So what really makes sense of humor sexy?
Well, the sexy is in the smartness. Humor=Smart; Smart=Sexy.
According to a study on a sample of 400 university students by Gil Greengross and Geoffrey Miller, “men who were observed as the humor producers of the group were nearly three times as likely to receive a phone number than those who were observed as laughing at a friend’s joke instead.”
So ladies, if you want to seize a man’s attention, some chuckling goes a long way. As for men, better learn how to make women laugh.
2. Show a little enthusiasm in the other person
They say playing hard-to-get is the sure way to remain irresistible – a scarce resource worth chasing after. However for this to work, much as you may be generally playing the game, give the other person the indication that you are interested in them. In the book ‘How to Make Someone Fall in Love With You in 90 Minutes or Less’, Dr. Arthur Aron stated that the participants’ expectation that the other person was going to like them increased their attractiveness to the participants’.
3. Talk the talk
Your words can make or break a connection. Forget the random, meaningless conversations. “Emotional, personal information exchange promotes powerful feelings of connection,” says Eric Barker.
A one hour study was conducted by Dr. Aaron, who used a set of 36 crafted questions which rapidly accelerated the getting-to-know-you process. And at the end of the hour, strong connections were established between people who had never met. “The instant connections were more powerful than many long-term, even lifelong relationships.”
4. Sexy up your personality
Conscientiousness is one sexy personality – apparently conscientious people make better spouses and parents as opposed to non-conscientious individuals who are known to be players. Conscientious people want quality; non-conscientious people invest in quantity. This is according to a study by Nettle and Clegg who reported that in a sample of 545 male (but not female) participants with low levels of agreeableness and conscientiousness, such men tended to have a higher number of sexual partners, higher levels of sexual promiscuity and relationship infidelity.
I guess here, it all depends on what a person is looking for; long-term relationship or just a steamy hook-up?
5. Make the other person feel great
How you make the other person feel can be very sexy. As per research, “we don’t really fall in love with a person — we fall in love with how we feel when we’re with them… Feeling excited, stimulated and aroused is often associated with the people around us, even if they’re not the cause.”
So if you can arouse excitement in someone, that is super sexy. Shared experiences of excitement can ignite relationship passion by associating the excitement with the relationship.
Till next time, work on bringing sexy back. Ignite that fire.