Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we all self-lubricated so well during sex that we didn’t need any additional help? Shouldn’t it be great if we didn’t have to have a conveniently located lotion dispenser next to our bedside for those moments when only our hand will do? Wouldn’t it be wonderful if every pussy and asshole got wet and juicy all on its own and stayed that way no matter how long or hard it was pounded? Welcome to the real world.

Oh, there is no doubt that some vaginas do produce vast amounts of lovely, juicy, sweet smelling natural lubricants that make fucking and licking such a pleasure, but the reality is that it only happens in very specific situations. The times you might expect this to happen are when a woman is most fertile, when she’s young, very well hydrated and extremely turned on. It doesn’t matter how turned on a woman is, if she’s had a wild night of indulgence before having sex, being dehydrated will most definitely affect her ability to self-lubricate.


Once most women are over 40, the amount of pussy juice produced begins to dwindle. Before 40, those juices usually will provide sufficient slip and slide for a normal fucking session but if you’re hoping for a marathon or some hard pounding sex, there’s risk of damage without some extra help. We haven’t even started talking about ass play.

While using lube makes it possible to fuck longer, deeper and harder all of which makes it that much more fun, it also helps to protect us, not just from tears and friction injury, but also from infection. Poorly lubricated penetrative sex is one of the least safe forms of sex, particularly when it comes to STDs. That’s because it is so much easier for nasty little viruses to infect broken and damaged skin and none of us want to take that risk, even if we are using condoms.

There are different types of lube on the market and which you use will depend on whether or not you are using latex condoms and the sort of sex play you plan to participate in.

Water based lubes


These are considered the safest and best all round lubes to use. They will not affect latex and so are good for using with condoms. They do need regular re application as they tend to dry out. Do beware of flavored and colored water based lubes. They may contain sugars and other products that can cause irritation.

Oil based lubes

These have fallen out of popularity over the years because they damage condoms, sex toys and even diaphragms. Oil will damage any latex based product. They can also harbor bacteria. There are still some uses for them. Particularly as a part of foreplay between two clean partners who aren’t using any latex. They are great for all over body massage and manual stimulation. It’s not recommended to use them for penetration.

Silicone based lubes

These are long lasting lubricants and are popular for that reason. They don’t require constant reapplication and will keep things sliding nicely for a long time. They also don’t damage latex but now that many sex toys are made from silicone, it will damage those. The downside with silicone is that it’s sticky, messy and can be difficult to wash off. This can lead to bacterial infections and rashes in places none of us would like to have these things. Silicone is definitely a good option for long fucking sessions. However care needs to be taken to make sure that every nook and cranny is washed thoroughly afterwards.

The best bet with lubes, like most other things that may affect your skin, is to test them out. Use a little bit on an area that is not too sensitive to start with. Such as the inside of your forearm. If you don’t have a reaction and you find the product pleasant, then try a patch test on your genitals. Don’t forget that it’s important that both partners are not sensitive to ingredients in the lube. Which is why if you’re having casual sex with different partners, it’s best to stick with a really simply water based lube and to re-apply it as needed.