You and your partner want to try a new kink: Bondage/Domination/SadoMasochism, or BDSM for short. It is an exciting world of role-playing. Exploring new sensations of pleasure and pain, and experiencing the mental satisfaction of control and surrender. However, it can be intense and even dangerous if not embarked upon carefully. Seasoned devotees understand the rules, but newbies need to be especially cognizant of consent, safety, and protocol. Here is a list of Dos and Don’ts that will make your play safer and more enjoyable for both the dominant (dom) and submissive (sub) partners.

DO: Make bondage escapable.

“Inescapable” bondage is fine for porno movies with a dozen people on set to render assistance. However, if you are just with your partner in the privacy of your home, that should not be the case. In the event of something serious and unexpected happening, the restraints should be able to be slipped or collapsed, or the sub should be able to actually reach the releases. If a dom should have a heart attack, stroke, or seizure, and the sub can’t call for help or provide assistance, or if a candle should start an unexpected blaze, tragedy could ensue.

DON’T: Ignore your sub’s concerns.

Above all, the dom/sub relationship is one of trust. A sub must feel that he or she is ultimately being cared for by the dom. No matter how rough the actual play. As Madonna once put it, “It’s letting someone hurt you that you know would never hurt you.” If all you want to do is go to town on someone without worrying whether they are getting hurt, buy a doll. Otherwise, make sure your sub is comfortable with every aspect of play; if your sub is new to BDSM or is a new partner for you, advance very slowly and test boundaries cautiously. Communication is paramount.

DO: Have a “safe word”

A safe word that the sub can call out to alert the dom that the sub is feeling overwhelmed, either physically or emotionally, and that all activity needs to stop until the sub confirms that he or she feels okay to continue or needs the session to end. This is a special word that is unlikely to be used during normal BDSM activities; because some partners enjoy when the sub role-plays unwillingness, which may include shouting, “No! Stop!” and other such things, the safe word should be something odd, like ‘blueberry’. If the sub is gagged or otherwise unable to speak clearly, there should be a “safe sound”–three short grunts is typical–or a “safe gesture”.

DON’T: Cause actual damage.

A bruise or a welt here and there is not necessarily cause for alarm; those heal. But there are more dangers afoot than you may realize: Anal penetration that is too rough or hurried can not only cause too much pain for the sub to handle, but can also lead to more serious problems, from hemorrhoids to anal fissures. Bondage that is too tight can cut off the circulation; pins-and-needles are one thing, but tissue death is another completely. Check often to make sure that your sub’s hands or other bound parts are not feeling numb or getting cold to the touch; that’s a tip-off that circulation is sluggish. If so, release the pressure and massage to restore circulation (this can happen with nipples, as well; sucking is a good way to restore blood flow).

DO: Ensure “aftercare”.

The BDSM experience can be very intense, and subs can sometimes “drop”, or have an adverse reaction of shame or depression afterward (sometimes not immediately afterward, so a dom might not realize there’s a problem). To stave this off, the dom should show care for the sub. Cuddling and chatting afterward helps transition back out of roleplay mode. And it ensures that a caring relationship does exist, especially if the BDSM session involved degradation or verbal abuse.

Abide by these rules faithfully, and you should be good to go. Enjoy!

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Women have great imaginations, wild fantasies and amazing sex, but just like any other couples, after getting comfortable with each other, action in the bedroom can get a little bit less like an exciting adventure and more like a daily chore. Role play is an incredibly erotic way to heat things up again. So, to get you started, why not have a date night and try out one or two of these naughty games.

Madam’s New Girl

When Madam gets a new girl in her house, it’s up to her to break her in and teach her the tricks of the trade. She needs know that her ‘ladies’ will get wet when required, can provide the kind of oral service that will make the clients happy and can make themselves available in a variety of positions. Madam may need to bathe and examine her new girl as well as require her to demonstrate her special skills. All you need to prepare for this fantasy is to decide who is going to be the Madam and who will be her whore.

Warrior Prize

When a warrior wins her battle, the best part of the winnings is the girl of her choice to service her and please her as and when she requires. Of course, the new girl will want to do everything in her power to make the winner happy and will be keen to demonstrate her special talents for the warrior’s pleasure. Showing her warrior that she can bring her to orgasm better than any of the other girls, might just give her an advantage. It would be fun to go shopping to buy some outfits to wear for this role play. Decide on a period in history and take it from there.

Taken

There are a few ways for this sort of fantasy game to play out. Depending on whether or not one or both of you enjoys rape fantasies. The great thing about this exciting and edgy game is that the power and control can go either way. Decide how you want to play it out ahead of time. The basic storyline is that one of you is a kidnapper and the other the hostage. One scenario would involve the kidnapper taking control of her hostage and forcing her to participate in a variety of sexual activity. Her aim should be to force her victim to admit she enjoys being fucked and licked and to make her have an orgasm. Whether she wants to or not.

Alternatively, the hostage could seduce the kidnapper and use her sexual wiles to convince the kidnapper to release her. Can she lick her way to freedom? The dynamic in this type of scene can be a huge turn on with the power moving back and forth between both women. Just remember, if bondage will be involved always agree on a safe word.

Aye Aye Captain

Military fantasies can be incredibly hot, especially if one or both partners have a thing for uniforms. In fact, you may want to acquire a couple of uniforms to make it as realistic as possible. The story is a simple one. As we know, a new recruit is required to do everything her Captain says. Not only that, but if she is insubordinate, she will have to be punished. Doing ten pushups with a vibrator on her clit, might make her more respectful next time. Hopefully that suggestion will fire up your mind about the possibilities with this sort of game.

Can I have your autograph?

This game can get as wild as your imagination can make it. When a groupie wants to get back stage with her favorite rock star, she’ll do whatever it takes to get her attention. That means ‘anything’. Rock stars are used to very dirty girls. They have high expectations when it comes to the things those girls are willing to do. A true rock star will expect a level of hero worship and a groupie will be more than happy to give her that and more. This one leaves much room for creativity. Just how far will your groupie girl go?

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