Men and women can really differ in the ways they communicate with the world and with each other. Understanding the differences while striving to craft conversations that help the two of you connect rather than put each other off are keys to developing a happy and mutually rewarding relationship. Try some of the tips below to see if you can truly talk to the new guy in your life or improve a long term relationship.

Prepare

While women enjoy the journey during a conversation men are often waiting for you to get to the point. Just as you might spend time readying yourself for a conversation with your coworkers or a client be mindful and plan before you spend some time with your special guy. Know the degree of detail your man needs to converse easily with you. Facts and observations are important to guys so think through a topic before you launch into a torrent of information.

Learn From Experience

As you think through what to share with your date reflect on what went well — and not so well — the last time you had a conversation. If your man needs just the facts, ma’am, do not confuse him with your feelings and emotions at the start of the date. Calmly relate what you saw, read, heard and give him time to react. If this is a first or second date keep the conversation light and your comments brief until you know how he prefers the conversation to flow.

Work On A Common Conversation Climate

Just because men and women communicate differently does not mean you have to capitulate to his preferred way of keeping in touch. Be very forthright about what you would like your communications to sound and feel like but keep the emotions out of it. Men often feel like women are overly dramatic or nagging when the rules of communication are explored. Keep this in mind as you express yourself sticking to objective things each of you can do during a chat like take turns and wait for natural pauses to insert your side of the exchange.

Use The Word I More Than You

This is not a call to move into narcissism but to ensure that your comments and requests are not perceived as blaming, judging or demanding. Talk about what you would like from him not what you think he will refuse to give. A comment like “I love it when you help me sort through my options” works much better than “You never listen to my problems!” Men are naturally solvers and may give you suggestions when all you want to do is share your thoughts and feelings. Gently deflect his attempts to set you straight and instead thank him for giving you yet another possibility to think about.

Use Your Conversational Time Wisely

You want him to listen when you need his understanding and opinions so don’t bombard him with aimless chatter. Take a breath and apprise his willingness to talk. If he is focused on work, entertainment or simply taking a nap you might want to defer the conversation for a more advantageous time. An adult relationship requires communication to happen at a time when both participants are willing to be completely in the moment. Strive for those golden times and use them well.

Talking with your man is an art that you need to develop and practice. Work on integrating some of these ideas to deepen your relationship and arrive a unified understanding.

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Men and women use different strategies and frequently want different things when communicating with others. This disparity can cause misunderstandings, hurt feelings and frustration for both parties.

You may have experienced this with many women in your life. But it takes on critical importance when you are trying to develop a rapport with a new romantic interest or you are working hard on improving an established relationship. Dating can be so much richer and satisfying when you really connect with that special woman.

Use these five secrets to bring you closer through communicating with her effectively..

Listen

Many men approach any topic of conversation as a problem that needs solving. Women use words to convey emotions and feelings. They often work through how they have and will react to a situation by discussing at some length the many ways it impacts them. If you take charge of a conversation by defining the problem for your lady and declaring the ultimate solution be prepared for at the least irritation. This may evolve into outright anger for your premature assistance.

Mirror

Mirroring is a technique where you restate what you have heard once you have given her the time and space to ruminate fully on a subject. Letting her know you have truly heard her opinions and concerns is very important – and sexy — for most women. This will make you stand out in a crowd of well-meaning but forceful problem solving gentlemen vying for her attention.

Ask Clarifying Questions

You do not need to mindlessly agree or just make pleasant murmurings as your date chats. If you are confused or want to delve deeper into what makes her tick, ask questions that help you understand. Avoid demanding explanations for why she feels a certain way. Instead, ask question that explore how she got to her opinion or conclusion. Show real interest in the journey she is taking to become the woman she is.

No Interruptions

Wait for natural pauses to restate what you are hearing or inquire further into the information she is sharing. Talking over anyone is aggressive and can be a major turn off as you get to know each other. If you feel like you will never have a chance to jump into the conversation if you wait for her to take a breath, change your body position. Lean over and take her hand. If you know each other well use a kind gesture to get a moment to add. You could also ask what you need in the conversation. Work out something between the two of you at a time when she is not passionately expressing herself to share conversations in the future — maybe you open your hands from your heart toward her or tug on your ear.

Stay Attentive

Look at your chosen companion as she speaks to you. Ensure that she knows you are mindfully in the moment with her. This is not the time to check your phone. Nor is it the time to let your eyes wander to the table next to you or to the television in another corner of the room. Give her all the time she needs to complete her thoughts secure in the knowledge that you are interested in her opinions, joys, fears or concerns.

When you do not know how to communicate effectively with your companion your relationship can take a serious turn for the worse. It can be a real barrier to taking your relationship to the next level. This will make the women you date feel judged or marginalized. Cultivate an open, accepting attitude during conversations and she will reward you with her delight in having such a charming and well bred date.

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