While you are certain you have found the man or woman of your dreams, sometimes your friends are not so sure. When the primary root of their concern is the race of your significant other you may find yourself confused, hurt or angry, particularly if this tension is a new one for you.

Try the following tips to navigate this sometimes rocky territory. Approached with intelligence and care, your friends’ doubts can be resolved for the benefit of all the important people in your life.

1. Prepare Your Friends

Even if you enjoy making a splash or stirring up a little controversy with your crowd, be very aware that sharing your new love requires care for his or her feelings as well as an awareness of the potential reaction of your friends. If interracial dating is new in your circle, talk with a few close friends before the reveal and be honest about your significant other’s racial background. Even if it is common to date diversely among your group, let a couple of key folks know so there is no awkwardness at the first meeting, particularly if this is your first interracial relationship.

2. Assume The Best

If your friends are doubters, explore their worries one on one to find out what forms the basis of their concerns. You may find they are less focused on the race of your boyfriend or girlfriend than how that person is treating you. If race does seem to matter independent of actions, challenge them to see how well you and your significant other relate to each other and how special this person is to you.

3. Explain The Attraction

Give your skeptical friends a chance to see your sweetheart through your eyes. Talk about the interests you share with this guy or gal that make you “click.” Expand on the needs this person meets for you and the commitment you are building because of similar goals and interests. Dwell less on the intimacies you enjoy, as you really shouldn’t tell secrets, regardless of the race of your sweetie, but more about how happy you are when you are with your love.

4. Demand Respect

Regardless of how much either your friends or your love interest mean to you, insist that they treat each other with respect. This goes for times they are together with you or when you are alone with one or the other. If the tone of the conversation turns dismissive or even hateful toward your loved one, firmly change the subject or refuse to continue the dialogue.

5. Give It Time

Be patient. If your friends are worth your investment in them over the years they will come around to an understanding and an embracing of your interracial relationship. Gauge their acceptance from time to time to see if this isn’t true. In rare cases you may need to let a friendship go if your romantic relationship is a deal breaker for your friend, but only after you are frank and open and give everyone the space to grow into acceptance, even liking.

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Whilst the thought of interracial marriage being an outright criminal act might seem alien to some of the younger generation, it will still be a vivid memory for many of their parents, grandparents, and other relatives. The fact of the matter is that this kind of institutionalized racism is not yet part of a murky history which we can brush off as being ‘way back in the past.’ It was not until 1967 that it became legal for interracial couples to wed in America.

It is clear to see that much has changed since then – interracial couples and interracial families are now not illegal or even unusual. Yet, there still exists a stubborn stigma around this kind of family makeup (not just in the US but in other countries too). Even though scores of studies have shown that children growing up in interracial households are not given any less love, support, attention, and care, they are still perceived as ‘unfortunate’ and less likely to achieve.

So, the question is, when will interracial families be the norm? It is an important question and one which is, perhaps, even more fundamental that it first appears. After all, it is a clear and immutable fact that, as more and more people kiss, romance, love, and start families with people of different races, the more the lines will start to be blurred between them.

Yes, anthropologists all agree that, at some point in the future, the human race will begin to take on a much more ‘universal’ skin tone. It will be harder to distinguish between races and the majority of people will be somewhere in the middle of the scale, as regards color. Once we reach this point, interracial families will not only not be unusual, they will be the norm.

What about now? What is life like for interracial families in western societies right now? How quickly are we progressing? Well, in 2010, a record 8.4% of all marriages in America were between two people of different races. Whilst this might sound like a tiny amount, the figure was a lowly 3.2% in 1980. In 1987, only 48% of Americans believed that it was okay for ‘blacks and whites to mix.’ In 2012, that figure reached 83%, which is a massive increase in a relatively short space of time, anthropologically speaking.

There are some interesting trends which appear within this kind of data too. For example, Hispanic and Asian people are the most likely to marry a person of another race. Plus, black people are, at this point in time, far more likely to wed white people than ever before – despite continuing fluctuations in their overall level of social segregation.

If we look at what really lies at the heart of the issue – children – it seems impossible to see interracial marriage as anything less valuable or magical than any other kind of union. As already outlined, there is no evidence (and never has been) to suggest that interracial families are fundamentally any different to others. They laugh, cry, play, bond, and grow in exactly the same way as any family does.

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Many people assume that being in an interracial relationship is full of constant problems and compromises connected to your different cultural backgrounds. However this doesn’t have to be the case; dating someone from a different nationality has its own unique advantages and you could be in for a pleasant surprise.

1. Enhance your Knowledge – Whether your partner teaches you their language, to cook their national dishes or things about their country’s history and culture, simply spending time with someone who has had totally different life experiences to you can be a great way to learn new knowledge.

2. See a New Perspective – If your partner has grown up in a different culture to yours, they may have different values and views to people within your culture. Being able to look at life’s situations from a different perspective can really help you to grow and see things in a whole new light.

3. Travel – If your partner still has family and friends back home, you will probably get the opportunity to visit them at some point. As your partner will already have plenty of local knowledge and will be able to sort out issues such as accommodation very easily, you will have the added advantage of being able to really see the country, stay for longer and probably save a lot of money compared to booking a package holiday.

4. Join a Family – Many cultures have their own unique family unit. You may find that you get welcomed into a really loving family that is very warm and close. Being part of an extended family network can be a really rewarding and bring many advantages both materially and emotionally.

5. Overcome Adversity – If you are in an interracial relationship you know from the start that you may face potential pitfalls and problems such as a culture clash, racism and judgment from outsiders, bad reactions from family and friends, immigration issues or language barriers. If you can get through the early difficulties you will both know that you are in the relationship for the right reasons; this will help to create a strong bond that will last for years to come.

So although there may be some difficulties along the way, these points help highlight some of the many ways that dating someone from a different culture than yours can enrich your life. No matter where someone is from, if you truly care about each other and take the time to learn about each other properly, you are bound to find many more great reasons to be with them.

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One of the great things about dating someone from a different culture is the fact that you get exposed to (literally) a whole new world you may never have known existed. New types of music, new food… a whole new culture. There’s so much to explore, and the best part is that you’ve got your very own ambassador to show you the ropes. Here are five great ways to better understand your exotic partner.

• Be Active
  By this we simply mean that you should let your partner know right up front that you’re interested in his or her world. You’re not just interested in your partner, but the world that he or she is from. By expressing an active interest, you open the door for new opportunities to explore together.
• Keep An Ear To The Ground
  Music is a big part of other cultural traditions. Your partner probably likes music very different from what you’re accustomed to listening to, so plan dates around that very thing! Keep an ear out for opportunities to explore that aspect of the new culture you’re exposed to.
• Film Festivals
  Films are another great way to get to know more about your partner’s culture. Many of his or her favorites are films you’ve probably never even heard of. It’s a great, low key way to learn more about the world your partner comes from, and maybe pick up a few new favorites of your own along the way. (I fell permanently in love with Bollywood, even though I fell out of love with my East Indian girlfriend)
• Become A Foodie
  Food is another big part of other cultures. Depending on where you live, you may have to travel quite some distance to find ethnic restaurants showcasing foods from your partner’s culture, but it’s well worth the effort to find them. Take it to the next level by turning it into a kind of game. Take turns going to restaurants featuring ethnic foods from your respective cultures and order for each other. It’s a great way to not only learn more about the food from your partner’s culture, but it’s also surprisingly intimate, letting your mate select what you’ll experience and enjoy.
• Cultural Events
  There are a multitude of festivals and celebrations that pay homage to other cultures, almost certain to include the one that your significant other belongs to. Seek these out and immerse yourself into it. You can plan to turn it into a nice weekend getaway for the two of you, if you live in an area that’s short on that sort of thing. Even better, plan a vacation to the country or region where his or her ancestors hail from. There’s no better way to utterly immerse yourself into another culture than by visiting the country that created it.

The bottom line with all of these ideas is that there are differences between you and your mate, if you’re dating outside your race/ethnicity. Celebrate that. Make it a fun, engaging part of who you are as a couple, and in the meanwhile, find out more about him or her. That’s what it’s all about, right?

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So, you’re attracted to a person of another race. You would like to get to know him or her better, but have a sense of dread and weirdness about the whole thing. The person who attracts you is “different”; not the same color or ethnicity or culture as you. Suddenly, you realize that you have stereotyped the person; you have characterized them, and made generalizations or assumptions about them based on their race. What can you do to “see” the person for who they are, and not “see” https://www.interracialdating.com/fyooz/racist-beliefs/the stereotype?

If you truly want to change your stereotype collection, examine the assumptions that you have made about the person and the group to which he or she belongs. Where did those assumptions come from? What information are they based on? Are they based on real personal experiences with real people you’ve actually met, or on what you’ve learned from others, from television, from movies, or in school? Is it possible that some of your stereotypes are incorrect?

After you have examined where the stereotypes you have in your head come from, the next obvious step is to get to know the person. Stereotypes typically “dehumanize” people. Getting to know the person may reveal things you two have in common, such as you both like the symphony or bookstores, or the Giants, Japanese food, or maybe you both have been in a similar emotional situation. Shared similar experiences can open the door to creating emotional empathy, from which trust grows, and then who knows, affection and even love.

At the same time that you are getting to know your new found friend, continue to work on your own inner dialogue. Use appropriate terminology to describe ethnically and racially diverse groups, and avoid using types of designations and expressions which sometimes used to portray groups as inferior or superior to others. Also, be sure to refrain from using sweeping statements to describe all members of a particular group. Catch yourself out when you use the word “they” about a racial group. It can be a distancing word, making them the other, not at all like “we” or “us”.

Changing your own stereotype world requires diligence on your part to change your inner dialogue. Changing the stereotypes which deep down, you believe are true, requires pushing aside that racist inner dialogue and getting to know the living, breathing person who’s actually in front of you. You just might be surprised at how easy you will “see” the person, and how fast your collection of stereotypes will become a relic of old, tired thinking.

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These days, meeting a partner of a different race is not any more difficult than meeting someone of the same race. As interracial couples become part of the mainstream, more and more opportunities are available to meet an interracial mate. Here are five key ways to meet that special someone of another race.

Online

If you are strapped for money and don’t have an exclusive club membership, the primary place to meet your date is, of course, the internet. There are numerous dating sites that are safe and fun platforms designed to help you meet singles looking for an interracial partner. Sign up with a dating website which encourages interracial dating and brings together contacts from all races. Be clear, however, as to your expectations and what kind of person you would like to meet. Another way to meet online is meet-up sites. There are sites dedicated to meet ups for interracial dating. Check out the web for meet-ups in your area.

Church events

Joining a church which welcomes members of both races provides an opportunity to meet someone with similar values. Make a point of attending church events like fund-raisers, Christmas fairs, and participate in church outreach programs. In other words, getting involved in church activities is the best way to meet a potential mate.

Take college courses

Signing up for full or part-time college courses at your local campus will not only provide you with an opportunity for self-growth, but also provides the opportunity to expand your social circle. If you are intellectually minded, undertake research or assist in a lab. If you are more creative, volunteer for stage productions. Look for part-time jobs on the campus, such as in the library or dean’s office. There are many opportunities on a college campus to meet academic men and women.

Classical arts venues

Get involved in classical arts. If you can spare the time, volunteer at your local symphony, opera, or theater, or join an appreciation society or a club geared to promote classical arts. If you are talented yourself, it is never too late to foster that talent. For instance, if you have dancing skills, sign up for ballet classes, learn ballroom dancing or the waltz, or if you play the piano, brush up and expand your piano-playing repertoire. Like to act? Take acting lessons from the local theater company. Just remember: artsy potential mates hang out at classical arts venues.

Cultural points of interest

Other venues where you can meet like-minded potential mates are museums, art galleries, auction houses and historical monuments. Not only will you enjoy brushing up on culture, you never know with who you may strike-up an interesting conversation. Be sure sort out your Monet from your Manet to ensure an interesting discussion in a wonderful venue.

Don’t forget special interest clubs, as well, such as a society for wine connoisseurs, cooking classes, or a polo club. Go on a cruise for singles to an exotic location, or attend sporting events with a group of singles, and cheer on your favorite team.

These are but a few suggestions of ways to meet an interracial companion. The possibilities are endless, and you can have loads of fun and even learn something in the process.

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