So you’re dating a shy woman?  Great!  Shy women can be a huge turn on. However, because they’re shy, they may not be as sexually adventurous as you’d like when it comes to bedroom fun.

Sex is, of course, an important part of any healthy romantic relationship. Your partner, shy or not, is going to be interested in pleasing you sexually. This tells you that she’s going to be at least somewhat receptive to new ideas.

The main thing though, is that you’ve got to broach the subject the right way.  The fastest way to turn a shy woman off is to surprise her with a new dildo. Or buy her a pair of edible panties and suggest that she put them on.

Don’t misunderstand, you can get her interested in both of those ideas, but you’ve got to go about it the right way.  You’ve got to ease her into the idea.  Turn it into a game and take it in stages.

Here’s an example.

Say  you want to take her to an “Adult Toy Store,” buy her a dildo and watch her play with herself.

If you just blurt that idea out, a shy woman will most likely be mortified and shut down.

On the other hand, the next time you’re going down on her, if you ask her to hold herself open so you have more room to play, she’ll probably be okay with that.

Once you’ve gotten her comfortable with that idea, you can up the ante, telling her how hot it would be if you could watch her touching her clit with her fingers while you’re licking her.

She’ll probably be okay with that in the moment. And once she sees how much you like it, that’ll help her get more comfortable with the idea.  Before you know it, you’ll be able to start kissing her and whisper in her ear that you want to watch her touch herself, and she will!  She’ll have crossed a new threshold in sexual adventurism!

Once you’ve started down that road, it’s easy enough to continue, but again, you’ll want to take it in stages.

Suggesting sex toys

From there, you can suggest that, while it’s super-hot to watch her pleasing herself with her fingers. It’d be even hotter to watch her use a toy, and offer to look for one with her online.

Let her pick one out she likes (from the safety of home) and order it.  Then start by using it on her, slowly coaxing her to take control over it.

How quickly or slowly all this happens depends on the person, of course, but you get the idea.  Go slow.  Take it in stages.  Introduce her to new ideas that push her boundaries in small steps, and before you know it, she’ll embrace them and make them her own, especially when she sees how much it’s turning you on.

It won’t be long before she’s eager to head to that adult toy shop with you and make a few selection, secure in the knowledge that you’re going to love it when the two of you get home!

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

The post More Tips On How To Turn A Shy Girl Into A Sexual Adventurer! appeared first on Love is all colors.

So you are madly in love with a great girl. She’s sweet, she’s loving, she’s gorgeous, and she is crazy about you. All is well, except that she is very shy in a one significant location: the bedroom. There are so many things you would love to do. However, she can barely bring herself to even talk about them, much less try them. How do you encourage your shy girlfriend to be more sexually adventurous?

Well, there are a lot of wrong ways to go about it. Pressuring her, nagging and whining, or trying to make her feel guilty are all spectacularly bad. So definitely chill out on that, ‘kay? Let’s talk about what really works.

First, Be Aware of the Stigma

Please bear in mind that your girlfriend has been raised in a society that represses female sexuality; men are expected to enjoy sex, but women who do are often labeled as “sluts”. Most women are told to be “good girls” from a young age, and this is defined as keeping a tight lid on their sexuality, from dressing modestly to hanging on to their virginity for dear life. So don’t try to shame your lady for not becoming a lusty wench at your desire, calling her “uptight”, “prude” or “frigid” just because she has learned to conform to society’s idea (and probably yours, too, if you’re honest) of a “good girl”. Instead, create a safe environment for her to express her own sexuality, not just for your enjoyment, but for her own. Remember, when she feels relaxed and safe, you reap the benefits, as well!

Don’t Dare Compare

Even though you might mean it to be encouraging, a quick way to make things go south is to tell her that all the other girls you’ve dated were willing to try role-playing, or that “Beth just loved anal,” because if you make her feel like she’s the one woman who has “issues”, she will wonder why you are even with her. You want to build her confidence rather than undermining it. Also, every time you talk about how your ex was good at something, your current girlfriend will either respond with anger (“Go back to Beth, then!”) or resentment (now she won’t want to try anal because it might remind you of Beth. Good job, moron!). Only if she asks, acknowledge that you have some experience with the practice in question and that you know how to be safe. Emphasize that you think she would enjoy it.

Start Small

If you’d like to experiment with bondage, for example, start very gently–instead of tying her hands behind her back or using hard restraints, use a soft scarf to secure her hands together over her head (where she can actually bring them down in front or slip the scarf if she feels vulnerable)–and simply make love to her that way, rather than dominating her.

If she likes the feeling of surrendering control, domination can follow. She may enjoy doing things to you while you are tied, so offer that, as well; just don’t expect her to go full-on bitch goddess on you. Ask if she would like to try wearing a blindfold, or offer to wear one yourself. Sometimes a shy person will feel less inhibited if they can’t see or be seen. Also, always ask, first: Just because she accepted a finger, and then two fingers, in her butt doesn’t mean she’s ready for you to jam anything else in there willy-nilly. Ask first, go slow, and if she says stop, do so immediately.

The most important part is to let her know that you won’t think less of her or care less about her if there are things she doesn’t want to do. Sure, you’re full of ideas, but instead of telling her what you want to try, ask her what she would like to try. She may be several steps behind you, but she needs to go at her own pace. Who knows, though–she might just surprise you, and before too long, your formerly shy girlfriend may become even more creative and sexually adventurous than you had ever hoped!

Save

Save

The post So You Want Your Shy Girlfriend To Become More Sexually Adventurous? appeared first on Love is all colors.

If you’re a shy woman, the thought of talking to, much less actively flirting with a guy can seem absolutely terrifying.  In your mind, it probably ranks right up there with shaving your legs with a three year old, rusty razor.  Okay, maybe not quite that bad, but close, and it can really work against you if you’re interested in a relationship, but so paralyzed by your fear that you can’t even take those first necessary steps.

No worries though, help is here.  This brief guide will give you the tools you need to let your inner flirt out!

Keep A Totem With You

You probably have or own something that just makes you feel good about yourself.  A special locket.  A sweater you love to wear that makes you feel bold and confident.  Something.

Whatever it is, keep it with you when you go out in public.  It provides you with a powerful psychological tool, because when you feel bold and powerful and sexy, you invariably begin to act that way, and it can be the thing that helps you break through your own shyness barrier and open yourself up to the possibility of talking and flirting with that handsome guy you’ve been stealing glances at.

Guys Are Easy To Flirt With

Here’s something else to keep in mind.  Guys LOVE IT when women talk to them or pay attention to them.  The fact that you’re talking to him at all is going to make him feel like a million bucks, even if you’re a bit shy and hesitant at first.

That’s important because when you see the effect that your words are having on him, it’s going to make you feel better, more at ease, and more importantly, more confident, so just do it!  Seriously, starting is the hardest part.  Once you’re talking, it’s fairly easy to keep the conversation going.

Ask Questions

If you run out of things to say, or if you aren’t sure how to proceed, start by asking a question, especially if you’re asking for a guy’s opinion on something.  For instance, if you’re at a bookstore, and you really want to talk to a certain guy, grab a copy of two different books and walk over to him, asking something like, “hey – I’m trying to decide between these two books, have you read them?  What do you recommend?”

Something as simple as that can wind up being the start of a fantastic conversation. And the best part is, as the conversation unfolds naturally, more questions will occur to you, so you’ll literally never be without something to say or ask.

The Eyes Have It

Finally, if you’re just too shy to actually approach a guy, let your eyes do the talking for you.  Stare at him until he catches you, then smile and look away, then look back.  You may have to repeat the gesture a few times, because it can take a while for some guys to catch on. But once he does, he’ll come over and talk to you, and your approach anxiety problem is solved!

Being a shy girl is tough, and it can make flirting a little problematic. But there are no problems that can’t be solved with a bit of applied creativity.  Get out there and start flirting, girl!

The post The Shy Girl’s Guide To Flirting appeared first on Love is all colors.