Whenever we watch movies of princesses, princes, and knights, they usually have the perfect relationship with happy endings and happily ever after. I have been watching such movies growing up. It is for this reason that most girls usually dream of that perfect wedding in the hopes that it will also make them have great relationships with their happily ever after. Much as we all strive to have great relationships, one thing that people have no idea about is how to have that great relationship.

Is there a way that people can achieve this? Read on as we look at this overly searched topic.

Tips for succeeding in a partnership

It can be very tricky to have a great relationship with your partner. See, the thing is, we usually come from different backgrounds. So when one meets their partner, usually it’s later in life. People are usually brought up differently. So when a couple meets in adulthood, they usually share different views, values, and opinions that are usually shaped by how or where they are brought up. That is why, for instance, republican democrat dating can be a bit tricky.

One thing that can make things smoother is for a couple to find some common ground even when they have differences. They need to find ways of compromising and meeting in the middle.  Well, here are some of the tips for a perfect relationship.

Communication

One of the ways of succeeding in a partnership is to talk to one another. Communication is key and has been cited over and over again as the best way for a couple to have a great relationship. One thing that people need to realize is that no one is a mind reader. So you need to air out issues that might be affecting your relationship. A lot of people normally have no idea how their actions affect the other person. So if your partner does something that upsets you, you need to find a way to talk about out.

With communication, you don’t just point out the negative things. Also, let your partner know about the positive things he might be doing. Positive reinforcement usually works better. At the same time, even if you are angry, try and gently point something out instead of criticizing your partner. When they are great, appreciate them too.

In a fight, try seeing things from their point of view or from a neutral point

Being rational in a fight can really be hard because anger usually clouds our judgments. That said, it doesn’t mean that best partner relationships are impossible to achieve. Sometimes, stepping out and looking at the issue from someone else’s point of view can really help. This is the reason why people are usually advised to wait and deal with an issue after the anger has subsided.

One thing you need to both acknowledge is that you are a couple. So the “me vs. you” attitude should be checked when in a fight. You are not in a fight with an enemy. Teach yourselves to fight as a team. So instead of pointing fingers, try and find solutions instead.

Most people have a “me vs. you” attitude when it comes to fighting. They view it as a battle against the enemy. This could not be more destructive! Instead, have a “we” or team mentality. You’re both in this relationship together, so you have to come up with solutions together. Stepping back and looking at it from an objective perspective helps tremendously.

Give your relationship the attention it deserves

One of the tips on how to have a perfect relationship is to give that relationship attention. A relationship can’t be expected to work on ‘auto-pilot’. Just like plants, the relationship needs to be taken care of and watered. So if you don’t water or feed your relationship, it is bound to die. So put in some effort to nurture it by making time for you and your partner.

Support each other’s needs, hopes, and dreams

Whenever necessary, try and put the needs of your partner before your own. If it is something that affects your values, you are allowed to be a little selfish. Remember to care about your partner’s needs too.

The other thing is that you need to also support each other’s dreams. If you squash your partner’s needs, chances are, with time they will grow resentful. Also, don’t always be the one who supports and just ignores your own needs. Both if you need to be able to support as well as make sacrifices – both ways. Always encourage them to follow their dreams and be each other’s rock.

Laugh together and build a friendship. Sometimes, it’s never that serious.

Best partner relationships are but on friendships. One of the things that make romantic relationships built on friendships work is because people are usually more caring and more forgiving of their friends. The other thing is that friends usually know how to have a good laugh together and have fun. Whoever said ‘laughter is the best medicine’ was not wrong.

The thing is when things get too serious, they can become a little stressing and then they forget to laugh. When we forget to laugh, we start focusing on the negative things about our partners. Well, if you want to build the perfect relationship, always remember to laugh and have fun with each other.  Couples that have fun and laugh together, stay together. Find some amusement in your relationship.

Talk about your relationship goals

As I mentioned earlier, a relationship shouldn’t be left to run on autopilot. You need to discuss with one another from the onset of the relationship what goals you have about your relationship. There are lots of important things that are usually ignored when people begin a relationship that usually become obstacles in the future. For instance, lots of people never discuss the topic of kids, only to realize much later in a relationship that their partner never had kids on their mind from the get-go.

It’s important to just put things out there and talk about your relationship goals for say, the next six months so that you don’t end up wasting each other’s time. ‘Where will you live?’ Some of these things might look like they are supposed to sort themselves out automatically, but to be honest, if not given the amount of discussion airtime they deserve, they sometimes wreck things later. If the two of you are on the same wavelength, discuss how to achieve those goals.

Don’t expect perfection

Last but not least one of the other tips for a perfect relationship is NEVER to expect perfection. See, perfection is relative. So what you might be calling perfect might not be the kind of perfection that your partner might be striving for.

Am I contradicting myself given the topic of this article? Probably. The thing is, we need to be realistic here. So if your idea of perfection is 100%, that my friend is the most unrealistic thing on earth. We usually find ourselves in fights with our own siblings and parents. And, these are people that we were probably brought up similarly. But somehow, we still have our differences. We are all wired differently.

Well, here is one piece of advice I am going to leave you with. If you go in expecting perfection then you will be better off going into the relationship expecting to fail. Look at perfection from the point of ‘the relationship works’ as opposed to your 100%.

There is no 100% perfect relationship. The relationships that work are not 100% perfect. Work has gone into these relationships. That is the reason why we think of them as perfect. This is mainly because they work. Like people always say, if you think the grass in your neighbor’s lawn is greener, it’s probably because it’s been watered and given a lot of attention. So if you really want things between your partner to work out pay attention to your relationship. Work as a team!

For more articles on how to have a perfect relationship, visit Love is All Colors.

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During the coronavirus pandemic, it kind of seems like America is in decline. The reputation of this country that most second and third world countries used o look up to seems to have hit rock-bottom. This has largely been because of the way the president Donald Trump responded to the coronavirus. The policies seem to be failing. And as some experts say, this could have lasting effects because Trump has been undermining alliances and insulting most US allies.

Does the world hate America? Love is All Colors looks at how his policies have been criticized the world over. Scroll on as we examine this…

The coming collapse of the united states

Is this the end of America? First off Trump dismissed stories about his response to the pandemic as a hoax. People at home felt that it was inadequate and irresponsible. Now, America has always been seen as a safe, trustworthy, competent international leader. This reputation seems to be in ruins. Most countries no longer see the US as an international partner. That is also a disaster in addition to the pandemic. If we were to think as diplomats, I think this is the USA in decline and life support.

There has been a tone-deaf response to the pandemic by the Trump administration. To be honest, it has been haphazard, to say the least. This kind of response will lead to the decline of America because it will cost America trillions of dollars. Already we are seeing how it is costing lots of people deaths that could otherwise have been avoided.

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Like all interpersonal relationships, at some point, couples in a romantic setting also experience relationship challenges. Most of these are common to many couples.  A little friction doesn’t necessarily mean that the relationship is doomed. If a couple knows how to resolve conflict in a relationship harmoniously, then they can avoid getting to the point where the small friction becomes a threat to their relationship.

Keep reading as we examine some of the most common relationship hardships…

Common love challenges for couples

Infidelity

This is one of the most common challenges in relationships. Cheating has devastating consequences. The emotional consequences are anger, depression, and humiliation. This has been cited as a major cause of divorce and breakups.

One thing that makes it harder to deal with especially in a monogamous relationship is the violation of trust. Infidelity can be both emotional, physical or a combination of both physical and emotional affairs. It involves a behavior that is not approved by the other spouse. It also involves behavior that the two parties agreed that it was not going to happen.

People used to assume that men were the ones who primarily committed sexual infidelity and women emotional infidelity. Much as that might be generally true these days things have changed.

When it comes to dealing with this particular problem in a relationship, women are more likely to forgive sexual infidelity while for most men, it is a major deal-breaker. Men justify their affairs for sexual reasons (such as lack of sex at home) whereas women justify them by citing emotional dissatisfaction.

Couples who have had to deal with infidelity find it challenging when it comes to resolving it. It is one of the relationship challenges that is hard to get over.

Conflict

This is one of the common marital problems that couples can’t seem to avoid. This is mainly because people grow up in different environments and around different people. So when they meet, they will definitely have different opinions regarding different things (values, dreams, desires, perceptions) including how to overcome relationship problems and conflict.

There is a wide range of conflict. Some are more serious than others. Most common marital problems and conflicts are caused by neglect of a spouse’s needs, wants, and desires. Now if the other person is unwilling or unable to meet these needs, wants, and desires, this fuels resentment in the other party.

Now if one of the parties doesn’t care or watch what they say, the situation always becomes worse. If the relationship is fresh, this becomes a breeding ground for early relationship problems.

If one person in a relationship feels like there is some inequity or imbalance in the benefits of being in that relationship then things are bound to go wrong.

We all know the negative results of conflict. The main consequences of this relationship challenge are mainly psychological… unless in cases when conflict becomes physical.

There are times that conflict can be constructive. Couples who can overcome conflict or continue to relate to each other even after a wrangle tend to build more trust and confidence in each other. They develop better ways of resolving their problems.

That said though, recurrent conflict usually depicts bigger relationship hardships that a couple needs to consciously address. When this happens a couple should consider seeking professional help or help from a friend who can be neutral and has the best interests of both parties at heart. Such third parties assist couples to be able to identify the root cause of their conflict and help them figure out how to overcome relationship problems.

Lack of intimacy

When people hear the term intimacy, their minds automatically think ‘sexual’. I will have you know that intimacy is a broad term. It touches on the physical, social, mental, spiritual – not forgetting the usual sexual – aspects of our lives. Intimacy is what brings about the togetherness that romantic couples feel. It is the emotional bond and the connectedness that couples feel.

When intimacy expectations are not met or are ignored, this often affects a relationship hence causing love challenges for couples.

Sexual problems

Whether we like to admit it or not, sexual intimacy is one of the most important glues in a romantic relationship. Sex is what separates interpersonal relationships from romantic ones. Just like all other relationships problems sexual intimacy problems arise whenever there is an imbalance in their styles and expectations of sex.

When the relationship is young couples usually have intense feelings, passion and sexual desire for one another. But as the relationship exits the ‘honeymoon phase’, external factors like work, kids tend to have a negative effect on a couple’s sexual intimacy. This becomes frustrating to one spouse or both. This frustration breeds problems.

Sexual dysfunction can also be a cause of this problem in a relationship. Such dysfunction disorders include sexual desire disorder, sexual arousal disorder as well as sexual orgasmic disorder. So when figuring out how to overcome relationship problems such as this one related to sexual intimacy, a couple should be able to differentiate between sexual dysfunction and sexual problems. So if sexual problems are the issue, then a therapist might be able to step in and assist the couple to bring back emotional and social intimacy in their relationship.

Poor communication

Communication is key to any healthy relationship. Whenever a couple is experiencing a relationship couple, good communication can really salvage the situation. Couples with a healthy relationship know how to talk to each other openly, raise issues with one another in a healthy manner as well as listening to one another.

When there is poor communication there is no connection between couples. There will be no reassurance. A couple might experience problems in discussing and solving relationship challenges as well as sharing important information and opinions with one another. Early relationship problems usually arise when a message sent is misunderstood or misinterpreted by the other party.

It is common for a couple to experience communication breakdown when they experience problems. The lack of communication can tear a couple apart. Healthy reciprocal communication is what binds a couple together. When it’s healthy, they can talk together and come up with their own solutions to their problems – solutions that work for them.

When a couple develops healthy and productive ways of communicating with one another, they will realize that they are able to resolve their relationship challenges effectively. This is why all couples’ therapists focus on enhancing communication skills between a couple ­first. ­

Breakups and divorce

The rates of divorce are increasing at an alarming rate with 50% of marriages in the U.S. ending in divorce. Well, this usually happens when a couple reaches a stalemate when it comes to dealing with their problems. When it becomes too much to bear or one or more of the above challenges aren’t resolved, one or both parties decide to end the relationship.

For many people, breakups and divorce tend to be a very painful experience to deal with. They have emotional, social, psychological, as well as financial implications for the couple. But much as we would all like for love to always prevail, there are those cases where we just have to accept and move on.

Depending on the reasons for dissolving the marriage, this can bring about feelings of depression, anxiety, and other psychological disorders. If a couple has reached a point of no return, it’s important to seek the help of a therapist to assist with the transition.

If you missed some of our hottest relationship articles, read them on Love is All Colors.

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Earlier this year, Beyoncé angered a lot of people for remaining seated during Joaquin Phoenix’s standing ovation at the Golden Globes.

And now, she and husband Jay-Z have received a lot of criticism for seemingly being the only people to remain seated during Demi Lovato’s sensational rendition of the National Anthem at Sunday night’s Super Bowl.

So what does he have to say for himself? Was it a political statement like many people thought?

“It actually wasn’t – sorry,” Jay-Z said during an appearance at New York’s Columbia University, according to Page Six.

And if he was making a political statement, he revealed that everyone would know about it…

“I’d tell you… I’d say, ‘Yes, that’s what I’ve done.’ I think people know that about me.”

So what actually happened?

Jay-Z said that he, Beyoncé, and 8-year-old daughter Blue Ivy were seated from the time Yolanda Adams sang America the Beautiful, right before Demi Lovato sang The Star Spangled Banner…

“What happened was, we got there, we were sitting, and now the show’s about to start. My wife was with me and so she says to me, ‘I know this feeling right here.’ Like, she’s super nervous because she’s performed at Super Bowls before. I haven’t.

“So we get there and we immediately jump into artist mode… now I’m really just looking at the show. Did the mic start? Was it too low to start? …I had to explain to them that as an artist if you don’t feel the music, you can’t really reach that level.”

Jay-Z then added that he and Beyoncé would never engage in a silent protest, or a protest of any kind, with Blue Ivy in attendance. He concluded that both he and Bey were extremely “proud” of Demi Lovato for her performance…

“So the whole time we’re sitting there, we’re talking about the performance, and then right after that, Demi comes out and we’re talking about how beautiful she looked, and how she sounds and what she’s going through, and her life — for her to be on the stage, we were so proud of her.

“And then it finished and then my phone rang. And it was like, ‘You know you didn’t …’ I’m like, ‘What?’”

So what do you think? Are you buying his explanation?

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Photo credit: JStone / Shutterstock.com

While the 2019 Oscars infamously had no official host, rumor has it that next year’s Academy Awards will go back to its traditional one-host format.

So who is going to host the 2020 Oscars?

Well, nothing is official yet, but Tiffany Haddish’s hat has been thrown in the ring. And we’re very excited about it! Even more so now that we hear what her plans are…

“I would have it hot. It would be so much fun,” she told Jimmy Fallon on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon last night (December 1).

“We would have twerk contests and everything. Yeah, I would get Meryl Streep up there to twerk with Susan Sarandon. You know, it would be crazy.”

Wow – who do we call to make this happen?

“If you did it with me, I would do it,” Tiffany added, referencing how she wants Jimmy Fallon to join her as co-host to alleviate some of the pressure.

“Like, I don’t want all that pressure on me. Cause imma lose my hair and then imma have to really wear wigs all the time. It’s too much stress, you know?”

Jimmy Fallon and Tiffany Haddish together? Is there a petition we can sign to make them the official 2020 Oscars hosts?

Check out her interview on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon .

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Growing up, comedian and host of the ‘Daily Show’, Trevor Noah says that interracial dating in South Africa during the oppressive system of apartheid was illegal. Dating across racial lines was banned by law. And this is what inspired his memoir Born A Crime: Stories from a South African Childhood. The title “Born a Crime” was inspired by his mother’s story, Patricia, who was jailed and fined for giving birth to Noah, a mixed-race child. So centuries later, are things better?

Scroll on as we explore how things are today…

Interracial relationships South Africa

Interracial relationships in South Africa during apartheid were illegal. Period! Speaking of Patricia, she had a rough time bringing Trevor up during the Apartheid era. His own father who was Swiss was terrified to be caught in public with a biracial child to the extent where he couldn’t even hold his own son’s hand in public. Trevor remembers he used to run down the streets and the father would run away from him because didn’t want them to get into trouble. At the time, Trevor thought it was a game. He had no clue they were running away from the law. The mother had to act as the caregiver so as not to get in trouble for being in a ‘white’ area.

The thing is, much as the numbers are increasing, less than 4 decades ago, interracial couples might have gone to jail. They would be forced to hide their relationships like Trevor’s mother and father. But much as interracial couples still attract stares, most of them feel that they are fortunate to live in these times. More people are embracing interracial relationships.

Today there is a growing number of interracial couples in South Africa, who are trying to claim their rightful place. Up to date, even the former leader of South Africa’s largest opposition party (Democratic Alliance) is repeatedly asked questions about his wife of 13 years being white. And seeing as race is still an issue in the country, there are those who might distance themselves from his party because his wife is white and then there are those who are drawn to it because of their union which shows inclusivity.

But much as president Nelson Mandela promised a post-apartheid”rainbow nation”, interracial couples still stick out. Its all about developing a thick skin and getting used to the stares.

Interracial relationships in South Africa during apartheid

The first major piece of legislation during the apartheid was the Prohibition of Mixed Marriages Act which was passed in 1949. The law prohibited marriages between white South Africans and black South Africans or any of the other ethnic groups in the country.

Interracial relationships South Africa post-apartheid

There are those people who live in SA who refer to themselves as the “born-free generation.” This is the generation of South African’s born after apartheid. Has being “born free” concept had any positive impact on interracial dating in South Africa and how society sees interracial couples?

Apparently not. Just like in all other places in the world, an interracial couple’s feeling of being “born free” largely depends on who you are dealing with. For instance, when a black person brings home someone who us white, you will get the “Oh! So you are bringing a white girl?”. Well, this could be generational.

When you meet parents who lived under apartheid their take on interracial relationships will be different from that of the post-apartheid generation. The older generation might still be skeptical and judgy towards interracial marriage.

But the younger generation sees things differently. And they are the reason for the increase in interracial dating in South Africa.

When looking at interracial marriage in South Africa Black men are more likely to be in mixed marriages. Interracial marriages are more prevalent amongst Africans, colored and Indian racial groups. As you guessed, Caucasians are least likely to marry interracially with interracial relationships being more common and interracial black people and other colored people.

Factors contributing to the prevalence of interracial marriage in South Africa

Awareness of race issues

South Africans have to some extent become aware of interracial relationships because we are seeing more of them. Yes, there may be interracial dating challenges. Yes, interracial couples may get stares here and there. But not all these stares are bad. Most of them are fascination and even admiration stares.

People are also learning how to cope with race and are also discovering ways of dealing with racial biases from society at large.

Heightened tolerance

Much as there may still be some negative social attitudes towards interracial relationships, there still lots of benefits. The more we see interracial couples, the more we see decreased prejudice and more tolerance to interracial relationships.

Plus, as per some studies, an individual’s intergroup attitudes could benefit from interracial friendships merely by
observing positive things that come out of the relationship. Looking at the post-apartheid era, social attitudes towards interracial marriages have generally changed positively. There is a larger proportion that is neutral or somewhat positive.

Education

Most of the younger generations in South Africa are going to mixed-race schools. So to this group, it is normal for them to interact with people of different colors and races. These are people who have been through the same education and can relate to each other because of growing up in similar environments. The thing is there are certain environments that increase opportunities for interracial friendships. For instance, teaching orientation and racial diversity can be effectively harnessed by schools to improve interracial interactions among students.

The thing is interracial friendships and increased social contact do increase the opportunities for interracial relationships and also the openness to interracial marriages.

The levels of education also play a big role. Those people who are more educated that have attained higher levels have more exposure to people of other races in the universities. Then there are those who have traveled abroad for studies which makes them more likely to get into and be more open to interracial relationships.

Interracial dating sites in South Africa

Most people are joining interracial dating sites to find love. The increase in such sites has also contributed to people approaching other individuals in an environment that is less prejudicial. The increase in interracial dating sites in South Africa has also played a role in the prevalence of interracial relationships. They present individuals with opportunities to meet like-minded individuals from other races. Online dating has made people more confident about dating interracially.

There is also the contribution of self accounts and reports from other individuals who have successfully dated interracially online. These success stories have played a major role in motivating people to date interracially. “If it worked for them, why not give it a shot?”

More liberal individual characteristics

We are in the post-apartheid era. So the “born free” generation seems to have more liberal ideologies and integrated environments. Living in integrated neighborhoods and attending integrated schools gives this generation more exposure to individuals of other ethnicities.  So for them, they have the opportunity.

Then speaking of liberal ideologies, there is also the motivation to get into interracial relationships. For instance, there are lots of ads that portray interracial relationships.  And when you also look at interracial dating sites in South Africa, couples speak openly about their success stories. At the same time, the motivation bit can also be evidenced by the self-reports of couples in interracial marriages.

Attraction

Some people feel that they have qualities that certain ethnicities find attractive or they desire some physical characteristics that are associated with a specific race. That said though, it normally boils down more to the personality of the potential mate as opposed to race. So basically, we are back to the opportunity to interact with someone of a different race in order to be drawn to their personality.

Much as people might cite racial factors as what has caused the prevalence in interracial relationships in South Africa, non-racial factors seem to play a major role. It is more about common interests shared and physical attractiveness – which is not race-related.

What are some barriers to interracial relationships in South Africa?

Racially and ethnically related hate crimes top the list. The risk of victimization for being an interracial couple, especially for black South Africans still presents a barrier to pursuing interracial relationships hence scaring some individuals away from interracial dating in South Africa.

The thing is, much as people predict some level of instability in interracial relationships, these couples tend to be more securely attached and they work together towards protecting their union. They also tend to have mutual respect and affection for one another. They also tend to have more in common personality-wise than not.

It is a work in progress…

It’s an individual and yet societal mindset that needs to change before we’re any closer to really embracing each other in a way that skin color is looked at differently. Despite the positive figures, there remains significant public opposition and stigma associated with interracial dating in South Africa. But whether we like it or not, interracial relationships seem to be the way of the future.

So does this mean that we are closer to eradicating in South Africa? Unfortunately, this is a place we might never reach. We keep hearing people calling out racists day in day out on social media among other racially charged violent incidents.

That said, the rise in interracial relationships in South Africa is quite refreshing. This means more South Africans are embracing multiculturism and mixed-race couples. Some suburbs seem to be more receptive to the idea that love knows no color. However, those with more cities with tighter cultural influences like Durban and Cape Town, not so much.

The thing is, so long as people are integrating with one another at their places of living, in schools and at work, we are definitely going to get better attitudes and more openness because after a while, you get to realize that there is nothing different between races because you share so much in common.

For more race-related articles, visit Love is All Colors.

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In today’s article, we look at the top 10 questions to ask your unfaithful spouse and how their response can determine whether the relationship is totally over and whether there is hope for rebuilding trust in the future. Before you rush into breaking up with your cheating partner, its important to figure out where both of you stand in the matter. Read ahead as we tackle this super sensitive topic…

Signs of a cheating partner

Being a victim of infidelity can be one of the very challenging experiences that one can face in a relationship. The fact is that it can come as a shock when you find out that your spouse has been cheating because you probably never suspected them or expected that they could betray you like that. Others can spot signs of a cheating partner or even spot signs that they are about to before it happens.

Much as people are different, there are few signs of cheating that are quite general and things cheaters say to hide an affair. Plus if you have a hunch, then there is probably something brewing.

Much as it might not necessarily be the case sudden behavioral changes can be an indicator that the partner is either having an affair, or they are probably headed down that road. Here are some possible signs that you can go by:

Changes in sex life

This can go from complete non-existence of sex in your relationship to the introduction of new things in your sex life that were never there in the first place. For instance when wifes cheat one might start noticing less sex accompanied by a considerable reduction in your relationship. Plus if you have never strayed and suddenly you have an STI, then he or she definitely cheated.

Suddenly they are frequently unreachable

All of sudden you might begin to notice that your partner rarely answers calls or responds to texts. One of the things cheaters say to hide an affair in this situation is saying they were driving or didn’t hear the phone ring. If they claim they were working late or are on a business trip and are unreachable while there, that isn’t a good sign.

Fading of emotional intimacy

This more often happens when wifes cheat. When there is no emotional vulnerability and intimacy with you, this might be something to look into.

The thing is, there are many more warning signs to watch out for when husbands cheat. But this doesn’t mean that these signs are law. In one relationship, what might be of concern in another could be nothing to be alarmed about in another. In most cases, there are so many subtle signs that go unnoticed. For instance, a spouse suddenly being too emotionally intimate. It’s only when things stop adding up that the cheating gets exposed.

So you have caught your spouse cheating. The big question is: Should you pardon a cheating spouse. Here are 10 questions to ask your unfaithful spouse that can help you make that decision and assist you with unfaithful spouse recovery…

Questions to ask a cheating spouse

1. How did you get to that point?

Was there a reason that made cheating worth the risk? Was it that there was something that was missing in your relationship. And if there was, why didn’t they try to fix that as opposed to allowing themselves to give in to the temptation? Did they feel that the relationship had run its course? This question will help determine your next course of action.

2. Did you feel guilty?

This will help you determine if the affair was intentional or it is one of those platonic relationships that started innocently then in a moment of weakness, it happened. The thing is just saying sorry isn’t enough. They need to express sincere guilt. If the answer to this question is “Yes” followed by a “But” that blames you for driving them into cheating, then there is no remorse there. But if they own to their mistakes and you can really see how the feelings of guilt are eating them up and have sincerely apologized for their actions, there might be some hope there…

3. How long did the affair last?

This is one of the important 10 questions to ask your unfaithful spouse. This helps one know if your relationship stands a chance. If it had been going on for long, then it means it was a conscious decision on their part and not a mistake. A one-time thing is something that can be healed by joining an infidelity support group or some bit of counseling.

4. Why did the affair last for so long if you felt guilt?

It can help you determine why the cheating happened more than once. Because, why would a person continue doing something that they are remorseful about? Were they developing feelings for one another? Was there some blackmail involved?

5. Did you and do you still have feelings for them?

Chances of getting an honest answer here are pretty slim. But you could judge by the body language and how the question is answered. If he or she is honest enough to admit to having feelings, then maybe its time to move on.

6. Were there talks of a future together?

This goes hand in hand with the previous question. If there was any discussion about having a future, then clearly, your spouse feels that your relationship has run its course. If no plans were made, then maybe the marriage can be salvaged after all.

7. Did you consider how this was going to affect our relationship?

This is another question that needs to be answered properly if unfaithful spouse recovery is to happen. It is painful because one will always think their spouse cared more about that affair and less about the consequences. If you are to move on, this needs to be answered honestly.

8. What does she have that I don’t?

Was she more confident, more carefree, more respectful? Well, the thing is, there are some things you might not be able to change about yourself. If there was a behavioral change on your part that made the affair partner more appealing, that can be remedied. That said, I think one should see their spouse as enough. If I am no fun, find ways to bring out that side in me.

9. What did you them about us?

A jerk will talk ill about their spouse to the other man or woman. If that is the case, then this person doesn’t deserve you.

10. Do you want to be with them?

The answer is either a Yes or No. No need for explanations.

There you have it – the 10 questions to ask your unfaithful spouse. If you are dealing with a cheating spouse, whether you are trying to work it out or you are moving on consider joining an infidelity support group.

For more advice on infidelity in relationships, visit Love is All Colors.

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Photo credit: DFree / Shutterstock.com

Miley Cyrus has revealed to fans that she has been hospitalized.

The 26-year-old singer, whose love life has been making headlines since she split with husband Liam Hemsworth, is in hospital due to a severe case of tonsillitis.

Miley Cyrus posted a selfie from her hospital bed, which showed her hooked up to an IV drip, and asked fans to send good vibes her way.

She hopes to make a full recovery in time to attend The Ellen Fund’s GorillaPalooza charity concert this Saturday, which is taking place at the Hollywood Palladium in Los Angeles…

“Trying to heal a quick as possible to make it to Gorillapalooza w/ [Ellen DeGeneres, Portia de Rossi and Bruno Mars] this weekend!” Miley captioned the photo.

“Send gooooood vibes my way! Hoping the Rock star G*DS send me a boost of bad ass and help me kick this s— to the curb where it belongs! We got gorillas to save!”

The event is being organized by Ellen DeGeneres in aid of the gorilla conservation efforts. Bruno Mars is headlining the event, with many other singers also slated to perform.

And Miley’s social media updates didn’t end there. Firstly, she thanked her mom for helping her “look a little bit better”…

“How you present yourself can determine how you feel!” she wrote, alongside a selfie of herself and her mother Tish Cyrus.

“Thank you mama for helpin this little sickyyy look a little bit better by brushin my hair for me @tishcyrus mommy’s are the best!”

She also treated her fans to a picture of her newly customized hospital gown…

“Redesigned my hospital gown,” the patient wrote as a caption to another picture.

“kinda @ysl @courtneylove / @skyferreira vibes #punkrockbabydollhalter #werkwithwhatyagot #itscalledfashion #getintoit #youcantbuystyle #DIY”

But we know that the burning question on everyone’s lips has nothing to do with hospital gowns, and everything to do with her rumored new beau Cody Simpson.

We won’t keep you waiting any longer; the Australian singer did indeed visit Miley in hospital. But he took it one step further and even penned a song for her too!

“Suddenly I am feeling much better,” Miley Cyrus wrote, as she shared a video of Cody singing the song on her Instagram Story.

“This sweeeeeet guy came to visit at the hospital and sang the sweeeeeetest song he just wrote for me,” she wrote in the second story, alongside another video.

She also referred to him as her boyfriend, for anyone keeping track…

We are sending good vibes, as requested.

Get well soon, Miley Cyrus!

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Photo credit: DFree / Shutterstock.com

Well, this is unexpected…

The rumor mill is in overdrive, as it’s been speculated that Adele is moving on from ex-husband Simon Konecki. And the person she’s moving on with is none other than UK grime artist Skepta.

Did anyone see this coming?

According to several sources, friends close to the 31-year-old Oscar-winning singer have said that Adele and Skepta – real name Joseph Junior Adenuga – have already been on several dates with each other.

They were even spotted celebrating Skepta’s 37th birthday at London’s Crystal Maze Experience just two weeks ago.

Their friends predict that they could very well become an official couple…

“Adele and Skepta have been there for each other a lot after both their relationships split up,” a source told UK tabloid The Sun.

“They have a close bond and there’s definitely a special connection.

“They’re spending more and more time together. Some of their friends are hoping and predicting they could end up being a great couple one day.”

The source also said that both Adele and Skepta are on the same page when it comes to keeping their personal lives private, as well as making their children their top priority.

(Adele has 6-year-old son, Angelo, while Skepta is the father to a baby daughter, River.)

“They are both private about their love lives and they are both committed to their children first and foremost as well,” the source added.

After some digging, it turns out that Adele and Skepta have actually been in each other’s lives for years…

“Adele texts me all the time and keeps me in check. She speaks to me about how things are going,” Skepta said in an interview way back in 2016.

Also in 2016, Adele – a proud Tottenham native – posted a picture of the rapper with the caption, “Tottenham Boy” and a heart emoji.

We think that they would make a great couple – and who knows, maybe a musical collaboration could even be on the cards?

Watch this space!

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Can long distance relationship problems be overcome by couples? Distance is just a test of how far love can travel. However, it is no secret that long distance relationships will have their own unique problems: Loneliness, jealousy, trust issues, drifting apart… For sure long distance relationships are more common these days than they were a generation ago. Could be because attitudes and expectations have changed, technology, or in some cases, you cannot avoid it due to life obligations.

Nonetheless, if you are considering it, read this article and find out how you can overcome long distance relationship problems and keep your long-distance love burning.

Long distance relationship statistics

According to 2019 OKCupid data, 46% of women and 45% of men are open to a long-distance relationship so long as it’s with the right person.  This indicates that most people are moving away from traditional forms of relationships to more stress-free kind of relationships. Some couples wait until after marriage to live together, some live together and never get married and some alternate living between their two houses. Following these long distance relationship statistics, we should expect more of these long distance relationships and more ideas from experienced couples on how to overcome its challenges. So hang in there, you are not alone.

Long distance relationship ideas

As a couple, you need to know that your relationship will need more conscious commitment on both sides since spending time together won’t be as easy. The long distance might even deepen the bond since it will help you learn a lot about yourself and your partner. This may seem scary at first but it pays off and will make all the effort quite worth it. Let’s explore some tips on how you can hack such relationships…

 Always remember why you chose to be in that relationship.

Keep reminding yourself why you chose to be in a long distance relationship. Ask yourself some of these questions: Is this person your life partner? is it an open relationship? Is it for fun! Once you do that you will be able to set clear boundaries and manage each other’s expectations.

It’s important to be honest and to trust that each partner will stick to the rules of engagement. Do not send your family and friends to go spy on your partner to check if they are towing the line! Separation is not a death sentence. Sacrifices need to be made by both partners. Furthermore, being apart can be a very good time to have some ‘me’ time. Imagine being able to do the things you like that your partner doesn’t like! You could watch all those baseball games all season; you could do shopping all day without your partner being grumpy. These personal ‘me’ time adventures will actually give you things to talk about the next time you meet.

‘Under-communicate’

One of the best long distance relationship ideas is not to be overly “clawy” and possessive. You two don’t really have to communicate every 1 hour to keep the relationship going.

Ever struggled to find things to talk about with your long distance love? Have you ever felt heartsick with a longing to be with your partner, but also feel like you just have the same old tired conversations over and over again when you get on the phone?

Give yourself time to build up exciting adventures and experiences to tell each other about. You don’t need to update your partner each time your soccer team scores, or each time your dog barks. You will need to be creative with your communication.

Don’t over-rely on technology. Post a letter to compliment your emails. Post your pictures through snail mail. Send your t-shirt with your scent and a card instead of flowers. Talk about stupid, mundane moments and encounters; share your ramblings and annoyances. But don’t talk too much.

 Look at it as a test of your relationship

If you are committed to that long distance relationship, then this could be the ultimate test to your relationship in general. If you are living away from your partner for long periods of time, and still managing to navigate through the Long distance relationship problems, you should believe that through this experience, the both of you will be bound together stronger.

Forget about your relationship once in a while. There are reasons why you are in a long distance relationship. Focus also on what took you there in the first place – whether it’s, work, studies or even prison! This will distract you from the long distance relationship problems without loving your partner less. Do not whine when your calls, texts or when emails aren’t replied to immediately. That sort of neediness and pressure isn’t good for your relationship, and it is a sign that you’re not feeling very secure in your relationship.

Have a plan for sex

Sexual deprivation will always be a deal breaker for long distance relationships. Keep in mind jealousy is one of the long distance relationship problems. Have a plan for sexual activity with your partner. It doesn’t have to be routine. Never underestimate the power of a surprise visit. However, there are other ways such as phone sex, video sex or even open relationships. You will need to have sex as long as it is within your agreeable boundaries and expectations.

Don’t get into it if you are not ready

Long distance relationships require a lot of work and sacrifice from both sides. And no one wants to be in a long distance relationship forever. Make sure you have a timeline and adhere to it. If you are insecure and jealous or don’t trust each other, then look for ways on how to end a long distance relationship. Forcing yourself to be in it will just be compounding to the already existing long distance relationship problems. They are already complicated as is!

Living away from your partner might actually be good for you.

Living apart may not be avoided in certain circumstances. In fact, being away from your partner enables people to avoid relationship pressures and expectations while still experiencing intimacy. Life is still happening even though you are apart from the one you want to share life with.

Do not put your life on hold. Isolating yourself from family, friends, and hobbies will only cause yourself more loneliness and pain. You will soon start feeling extremely low and over rely on your partner to keep you happy. This isn’t a good way to live for you or your partner.

So, even without your partner, go out, have fun, do the things you like. Plan your time so that you can speak to your partner. This is how face time saved my relationship. That said, also, have a life. Spending time with friends and family is an important part of keeping you sane and also distracting you from the person you miss so much.

Rejoice in the fact that living habits will be less annoying!

Being in a relationship requires compromise. However, the break away from your partner will require less compromise on your habits since you will be alone most times. If you’re living away from your partner, their annoying habits can be more tolerable and cause less conflict between you and your partner. This translates to fewer fights.

When we spend time away from our partners, we argue less because there’s less to argue about, and less time to argue. You could easily hang up the phone to give each other time to cool off and reflect without having to see each other or sleep on the couch.

Give it time

Getting used to the long distance can be a lengthy process. Give yourself and the other person time to adjust to the long distance relationship. Sometimes it will feel like you are very far from your ordinary life. And while it is beautiful to experience something as extraordinary as working abroad, it may create some distance between you and the person you’re describing it to. Give yourself time to adjust and accept the new situation.

It is without a doubt that all relationships require hard work and sacrifice, but a long distance relationship suffers problems that you might not have to face in other relationships. But, from these long distance relationship ideas, these problems are absolutely fixable. You never know, some couples may actually prefer long distance relationships than regular relationships.

For more relationship advice, visit Love is All Colors.

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