The debate rages across the social networks, in bars, man caves and girl get togethers across the world: Is it OK to have sex on the first date?
In some cultures, this is an absolute non starter. Conservative societies forbid such contact, as do most religions. In other cultures, including most western countries, it might be regarded as a mistake or a faux pas, rather than a mortifying calamity.
So what are the pros and cons of diving into bed at the first possible opportunity?
Let’s take the “for” argument first:
1. If you really click with someone, and it happens naturally because you both want it, then why not? If it feels good, do it.
2. It doesn’t mean that the guy – or girl – won’t respect you in the morning.
3. Plenty of fine, long lasting relationships have started with sex on the first date.
4. If you’re truly incompatible in the bedroom, you aren’t going to waste any more time finding out.
The “against” arguments include:
1. It makes the woman – and maybe the man – look as if they are an easy prey to anyone who comes along. If she’ll give in so fast with me, then maybe she will with anyone who comes along.
2. It doesn’t give you time to create a “getting to know you” period before you decide to become more intimate.
3. You really don’t know this person yet, and you might be putting yourself in danger, physical danger and of course, health danger.
4. If one or the other person kisses and tells, it could leave you with a bad reputation.
So, you absolutely can’t wait to get your hands on each other, and fall right into bed on the first date. How should you proceed? For a start, don’t allow your partner to think this is your usual behavior. Make it clear that he or she is so special that they just overcame your natural modesty. If the relationship continues, don’t suddenly regret what you did and withhold sex, although it is OK to say that you want to take a few steps back and do the getting to know you stuff.
A great way to avoid all of this mess is to talk things over at an early stage – maybe even before you go on that first date. This can be a light-hearted comment rather than an intense conversation. “Hey, just need you to know that I always respect a girl, and hope I can get a kiss at the end of this date.” “I stick to what my mom told me; I like to get to know a guy before things get more serious.”
At the end of the day, it’s always the best plan to wait, to play it a little cool. If you really like each other, and it’s meant to be, you’ll get naked under the duvet soon enough!