As you embrace your loved one you are blinded by emotion, concentrating only upon your partner and the promise of your new life together. When you step back and take in all your new love brings to you, a rich and nuanced kaleidoscope of different traditions and cultures spins around you both. The diversity of your backgrounds is intriguing and exciting. It may pose some challenges as you begin to blend your families together. Here are some tips to help you take the first steps to create your happy multicultural blended family. But first and foremost, find that special someone to create your mixed family right here.
Commit To The New You
Now that you have pledged to build a multicultural family with your love realize that you are no longer two individuals. You need to become a united couple, committed to move forward as a loving unit. All couples create a united front. But to ensure the best beginning for your multicultural relationship you and your love must hold firmly to your vision of togetherness and affection. Each of you must support the other without reservation. This is because there may be some people even in your close and loving constellation of family and friends who may not approve initially of your decision to make a life together.
Make Room For All
If your new family includes children from previous relationships be very mindful of how hard it can be for them to adjust to change. Never speak badly of their other parent, whether you are the biological or the stepparent, and open you heart to your partner’s children even if they are wary or outright hostile or resentful. Remember to keep your own kids close but know that the human heart is able to hold love for an infinite number of special people. Give each child what he or she needs and don’t worry about everything being equal every single day — it all works out over time and love grows deeper.
Give It Time
Expect some resistance if you have friends or family who are stuck in a conventional rut when your love leads you to a soulmate who has a different background, cultural or racial. Know they love you, too, and give them the benefit of the doubt as they work through their own processes of accepting a future for your and your new family they may not have foreseen. If you meet their confusion or even anger with calm and an unwavering affection chance are good that the passage of time will turn them around. In case your partner’s family or circle of friends rebuff you and any children, wait it out. If you are kind and respectful, and love your partner and his or her children with all your heart, they will see this and unthaw, hopefully sooner than later.
Give It Space
Any new relationship takes you away from old friends, rituals and demands at least temporarily. Keep in touch with family and friends, but also make an effort to create your own cocoon with your new family. If there is any friction, from the outside or from children who are uncomfortable with this new reality, allow them to come to the two of you when they are ready. Meet in neutral places if a perceived class of cultures is contributing to the discomfort. Enjoy the process of crafting your own home and shared rituals and invite others to partake when you are all ready to allow the circle to widen.
Celebrate Both Backgrounds
If your sweetheart speaks another language, make an attempt to learn how to converse in it. Ask questions and learn about the culture that made her or him the person you love today. Be deliberate about maintaining and retaining the important traditions each of you treasure. Encourage your partner to partake of yours as you embrace his or hers. If you feel your background is bland be careful not to “give it up” completely, particularly if you have children. Even the most mundane of traditions can be a real comfort to you. They may be a source of new pleasure for you blended family.