The wonderful thing about sexual role play is that it allows people to express their sexual identity in a safe and very enjoyable way. BDSM (Bondage, Domination, Sadism, Masochism) is a form of sexual role play that consenting adults have been participating in for centuries. Power is an aphrodisiac, as is total surrender. That’s being recognized and reflected in modern culture with the mainstream popularity of BDSM themed books, movies and fashion.

The Leather-Daddy dynamic

Leather and the ‘Daddy’ dynamic have long been a part of the BDSM scene. Leather daddies are normally those who take the dominant role in a BDSM relationship. The leather community holds them in high esteem. They are a little bit different from your typical Dom though. As the name ‘daddy’ implies, there is a paternal and even nurturing side to the relationships they form with their submissives. The reason they are called ‘leather daddies’ is because they prefer wearing leather. They also enjoy the leather wearing culture, such as motorcycles, as well as playing. Sometimes they even live the role as a father figure both to their sexual partners and to others within the community.

Because sexual role play is about fantasy and expression, there are no hard and fast rules about gender, particularly in the BDSM community, where roles are focused far more on sexual behavior than they are on physical characteristics, gender or even sexual orientation. It is not unusual for BDSM relationships to involve gay, straight and bisexual partners and polyamorous relationships. While there are traditions and conventions within the BDSM community, as long as consent is involved, every step of the way, pretty much anything goes.

Leather daddies with vaginas

This is why you will find that some of the most popular leather daddies may not have been born with penises. The most common leather daddies you will find, who have vaginas, are butch lesbians and trans men. It is a mistake to assume that most trans men have had phalloplasty (gender alignment surgery to create a penis) because they have not. The surgery is expensive and difficult and has mixed results.

Therefore many trans men decide that they’ll make the best use of the genitals they do have instead. This is mainly because society is moving away from the patriarchal view that having a penis is the source of all masculinity and the bigger the penis, the more masculine the man. Because we now understand and appreciate that there is so much diversity in both gender and sexual orientation, intersex leather daddies and trans women leather daddies, who possess vaginas, are also welcome parts of the community.

The great thing about role play and BDSM is that the possibilities for sexual fun are endless. Just because you have a vagina does not mean that penetration, cock play and fucking are not possible. People who enjoy BDSM tend to use strap-ons, dildos, vibrators, hands and fists, despite their gender, role or sexual orientation. Strap-ons have huge benefits as they allow the wearer to have whatever size, shape or length cock they want. They even provide the option of double penetration.

Working the leather daddy territory

Photo Credit: Harry Hu /

Being a leather daddy is about the attitude. Its about the ability to project a strong, dominant masculine persona. A persona that makes those around them feel safe, adored and turned on all at the same time. Submissives, who are attracted to leather daddies, often have the desire to please. And a great leather daddy inspires and encourages that desire. They want to be able to indulge in their inner child along with the innocence. Also, they like the playfulness and carefree behaviors that are all a part of that fantasy world. Leather daddies get off on this. So, as part of their role, keep submissives safe physically and psychologically. They explore those parts of their sexual being. The leather daddy role has little to do with genitalia. It has everything to do with charisma, strength of character and attitude. That’s why some leather daddies have vaginas.