Women have the opportunity be more sexually versatile with each other than any other gender combination. With the assistance of a well-stocked play box, anything is possible. But, the most potential lies in the mind and that’s the potent source of sexual power play fantasies. Once women allow themselves into that hot and horny world, they often learn more about themselves and the rawest parts of their sexuality.
Within normal healthy relationships, there is always a give and take of power. Power play in the bedroom, is an extension of that dynamic. Its about allowing each woman to explore their fantasies of domination, submission, control and surrender. There are a number of terms used commonly in this type of play. The most common are ‘top’ and ‘bottom’, ‘dominant’ and ‘submissive’. There are, of course, variations on the theme, nuances and preferences in terms of identity. Some women, who are tops or dominant, like the term ‘Dommes’ or ‘Mistress’. Others, with a more gender fluid personality may even drift into a more masculine role. They may prefer ‘Sir’ or, for the kinkier, even ‘Daddy’.
Submissives, on the other hand, are usually referred to by a preferred term of reference provided by their dominant partner. These may be terms of endearment, such as ‘baby’ or ‘little one’. There are some identifiers that suggest humiliation such as ‘slut’ or ‘whore’. The top, in these circumstances, will set out the rules and parameters of the power exchange. This is done with the consent of the submissive before any role play or sexual activity commences. Without consent, it is impossible to indulge in this kind of game safely or to maximize the sexual pleasure that can be achieved.
Who the real boss is.
In fact, many say that it is the submissive, or bottom, who is really in control in these scenarios. This is because they will have a ‘safe word’ that can terminate all activity immediately when they utter that word. The other reason that many believe that bottoms have the true power is that most dominants wish to give their submissive as much pleasure as is humanly possible. Their wish is normally to bring their partner to such heights of ecstasy that they lose all control and surrender themselves completely both emotionally and physically.
Even if the dominant partner receives both sexual and psychological pleasure from the interaction, they are giving a gift to their submissive partner. This is both in terms of sexual enjoyment and absolute safety. That’s a big responsibility and for the top, their role in the power exchange means that they always need to be in control of both themselves and the situation. This is why some women who participate in power exchange role play call themselves ‘switches’. A ‘switch’ may change roles between being a top or a bottom. This gives her the chance to not always have to be the responsible one. Of course, being a sexual ‘switch’ does require a personality that can be as vulnerable as it is domineering. Not everyone feels comfortable doing that.
Power play can and often does involve bondage and tools of discipline, such as paddles and whips. There are an unlimited variety of tools lesbians can use to provide both pleasure and pain. The agreements negotiate prior to the scene determine which tools they use and how. Equipment isn’t always used or necessary though. This is because dominance is as psychological as it is physical. Introducing control games such as only allowing the submissive to orgasm when given permission, requiring her to expose and sexually stimulate herself for her partner’s enjoyment and even humiliating her by asking her to do and say things that she might find embarrassing or uncomfortable are all part of the repertoire of a well planned power play scene.
The best part of this sort of role play for women is that women know what makes each other tick and which buttons to push to take another woman to the edge and keep bringing her back until she reaches the point of no return. When women really explore their deepest and darkest fantasies, open up about them, discuss them and then negotiate with a partner to make those fantasies reality, they are likely to have the most satisfying and earth shattering sexual experiences of their life. The honesty of such an encounter can, and often does, bring partners closer than they’ve ever been. This is why power play, in lesbian relationships, is not only good for keeping things fresh in the bedroom. Its for bringing more awareness to the power dynamics as they play out on a day to day basis in the relationship.