I want my ex back! We have heard that statement so many times from people who feel that maybe the breakup they had wasn’t such a good idea. But do you really want your ex back or is it that the lonely pangs are hitting hard and you feel “better to be with the devil I know than die alone”? Should you really give the relationship a try or is it best that you just forgot about the whole thing and moved on?
In this article, we explore ways of getting him back if you really want to. We guide you on what to do after a breakup, how to dig deeper and find out if you really should get back with the ex. Read on…
Should you really get your man back?
Does he miss me?
Before you even think of getting your man back, you need to ask yourself: Does he miss me? The thing is: You don’t want to put yourself in a position where you are met with constant rejection. Plus if it so happens that you are the one who wants him back badly, then your constant nagging and efforts might appear desperate which might further push him away.
If he does miss, makes the effort to contact you and makes small talk, then you might have a shot. That way you won’t be wasting your time trying to get back with someone who isn’t into you.
Do you really want him back or are just afraid of dying alone?
You have cried. The loneliness is just too much. Your emotions are all over the place. You feel lonely and are wondering, what if I die alone? Well, that shouldn’t be a reason to get your ex back. Because when you return for this reason, the problems that made you break up in the first place will still be staring at you. At the same time, the fear of being alone will force you to stomach even the very worst behaviors and what you once thought were deal breakers. Then you will end up miserable, with a drained soul, and you will probably slip into a depression.
Can I sustain the relationship once he is back?
How to get back with ex isn’t really the biggest issue. The main issue should be working on keeping them once you get back together. This will all depend on why you broke up in the first place. If they once left, what is the guarantee that they won’t do it again?
Whatever the reasons, are you willing to put them behind you, forgive, forget and move on? Are you or they willing to make necessary steps within yourselves individually for the sake of the relationship? The thing is, there is no point in getting back together if it’s not for the long haul. So if your ex seems to be oozing the same tendencies and character that made you break up in the first place, why waste your time trying?
What are your intentions for wanting him back?
Ask yourself: Why do I really want my ex back?
Do you want them back because you miss them so much? Is it because you realized your mistake and want a second chance to fix things and be a better partner to them? Do you believe you really love them and they are your soulmate? These are some of the reasons that make sense. And if you can make your case to them and convince them to take you back, then good for you.
However, if your intentions are revenge and wanting to get back at them, then the only person you will be hurting is yourself. You will just be reminded of the reasons you or they did break up with you much longer than it should happen. Why hold on to something with malicious intentions? If you really ever loved them, do both of you a favor and move on.
How to get back with ex when you really want him back!
Stop bringing up the reasons for the breakup. Deal with the anger.
Yes, you broke up. You are hurting. And I am sure even before you broke up, you talked about it. If you really want the answer to “how to get my ex back”, its to stop showing the anger. First of all, sit back and deal with what is making you angry. Trying to get him back when you are still angry will only lead to more fights which will drive you further apart.
Take time off and deal with the anger. If you are willing to forgive, then forgive and start afresh. It’s not easy. But it’s a good place to start. If they realize that you have forgiven, they will probably work on themselves too and want to give it a shot when things are calmer.
Don’t appear needy or desperate
The constant calling, the texting, the writing on their wall and yet they are ignoring you… Just stop.
This is one mistake people who have broken up make. They feel that keeping the communication going will probably make them feel that they miss you and come running back to you. Unfortunately, that is not the case. Being needy and desperate isn’t attractive despite which side of the breakup you are on. It will only push them away.
Work on bettering yourself mind, body and soul
What is the best way to make my ex want me back? Make them realize that you are doing just fine without them. You don’t want to give them the impression that there is something better out there by showing them the moppy side of you… a side that makes them feel sorry for you. So hit the gym, get a makeover, do yoga. Look your best every time you go out with friends you shared (even if it’s faking that bubbly you). Let him hear from other people that you seem to be doing fine and that he made a mistake leaving (or messing up). Give him a reason to want the new you back!
Visit Love is All Colors for more articles on handling your ex and dealing with breakups