Planning a wedding can be so fun and exciting. It can also be time-consuming and stressful. These days there are so many online resources available to help couples with planning. It can make things so much easier. Unfortunately, most of those resources are targeted towards traditional, heterosexual couples. So, it can sometimes seem, if you are planning a perfect wedding with two husbands, like you have nowhere to turn for basic advice.
A marriage between two men can be as conventional or as unique as the wedding couple desires but there are a few things that need to be thought about carefully in advance because there are some important differences between gay and straight weddings. As anyone in the gay community will know, not all businesses and service providers are gay friendly. Also, there are sometimes family members who have not been as accepting and welcoming of the wedding as they should be. This all needs to be taken into account when planning.
Set a date, venue and vendors
The first thing that anyone needs to do for a wedding is find a date, but then they need to decide on a venue and the vendors they will need to contract to provide things like decoration, catering and music. Who you choose as an officiant is also hugely important. Some couples opt to have a gay or gay friendly wedding planner do this. Others enjoy doing it themselves, with the assistance of friends and family. However you decide to do it, the important thing is to know that any businesses you work with will treat you wonderfully and make you and your guests feel absolutely welcome on your special day. Talk to friends and do some research to find gay friendly companies to work with.
What to wear
Once you have your venue and catering sorted out, you’re going to have to decide what to wear. There are no rules. This is your wedding. Whatever you decide to wear, make sure it’s something that you will feel comfortable in and that makes you feel fabulous. When planning your outfit, think about your partner and what he will be wearing. You want to compliment him and make him feel as gorgeous as you do. On this special day, when you will be having photos that will keep memories of a lifetime, go that extra mile and make sure you’re perfectly groomed. After all, that’s what you are going to be. The perfect groom. Maybe plan a spa day for the both of you.
Think carefully about your vows and the way you wish to make your commitment to each other public. These should be deeply personal and have special meaning to the both of you. As two men, tying the knot, you will want to express what you love about each other now and how you see your relationship blossom in the future. These words are powerful and important, so don’t wait until the last minute.
The guest list
Some gay couples find that the guest list is difficult for them, especially if they have family members who they feel close to but may not be completely supportive. You should work on this list together, as a couple. You should focus on having only those who truly are sharing the celebration of your special day there for the ceremony. It’s too important a day to allow anyone to be present who doesn’t support you both completely. Don’t feel pressured or guilt tripped into inviting someone out of obligation.
The most important thing to remember is that there are no rules and there is no right way for two men to marry. A wedding ceremony is about you and your groom publicly sharing your commitment to each other. It’s entirely up to you how you wish to do that. As long as you are both happy, relaxed and having one of the best days of your lives, you are doing it right.